- Lisa
- Lizzie
- Richard
- Serendipidy
- Tom
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
The next topic is PICK TWO
Twaddle
An owl
Stable
A tin of beans
Crossing
RICHARD
Price tag
It’s not often the Antiques Roadshow comes to town, so when we heard they’d be recording locally, we had to go along.
The question was, what we were going to take to be appraised.
Certainly not the ‘Dogs playing poker’ print – a cultural icon maybe, but hardly an antique.
There was little of interest in the china cabinet; just chipped and mismatched plates and cups.
Then granny turned up with her jewellery box and produced a huge, antique gemstone in a gold setting.
What did the experts say it was worth?
You’ll have to watch the programme to find out!
LIZZIE
The art installation Gemstone featured a naked mannequin with a television for a head, holding a megaphone. Its right arm was missing. Find meaning mode activated. Broadcasting television slogans while the body suffers the pain. Pleased with his interpretation, he approached the artist and shared his view. The artist looked at him, puzzled. He nodded, trying to prompt the artist to say something. The artist said “No, we got the mannequin on sale. They had lost the head and an arm, so they gave us an old tv and a megaphone.” Gemstone?! They should’ve named it Lacking a Gemstone, then.
LISA
Finders Keepers
Derek’s dream had led him to a secluded glade. He’d had a vision of a buried chest full of jewellery there: gold pendants and rings with precious gemstones.
The ground looked quite disturbed but it was a popular spot for youths to drink and besides his dreams were never wrong. Unperturbed, Derek started sweeping the ground with his metal detector.
On the way home, empty handed and despondent, he listened to the radio. An exciting local news story interrupted the broadcast: that evening a gang of teenagers had found treasure worth millions in the very spot he’d just been searching.
TOM
A bridge too far
It was called Project Gemstone. Personally, I thought it was a dumb code-name, but I didn’t get to make the call. It is pretty random, so others in the Alphabet black ops community don’t all get the cool ones. It equally pisses off everyone, like when D.S.T. got Robot Chicken. Gemstone dealt with the thorny issues of college students. Students of history known university students are the engine of revolution. Having eyeball on even the least likely camp was the goal of Gemstone. This was how I became a spook and ended up in Hanoi carrying paperwork for the Professor.
SERENDIPIDY
My engagement ring features a black gemstone. It’s not a diamond or sapphire, a spinel or tourmaline.
It’s not even precious in the conventional sense: it’s just plain old glass crystal.
In point of fact, if you look closely, it’s not even black. It’s actually deepest, darkest red.
The colour comes from an inclusion: real human blood, injected into the stone and sealed there forever.
The blood is that of my first husband.
A reminder that he will never bother me again.
Also, a very visible warning to my future husband, that there are some lines you just don’t cross.
NORVAL JOE
Patrick and Bobbi’s friend, Candy, joined the others in the messy front room.
Sabrina shot hateful glares at her former captor, as Joan explained about CPS coming in the morning.
Bobby looked around the squalid room in panic. “Mom’s on night shift. She won’t be home until seven.”
Joan put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll have the house shining like a diamond by morning.”
“A diamond?” Bobby asked, clearly skeptical.
Joan chuckled, “Well, a semi-precious gemstone, at least.”
Bobbi doubled down. “But how?”
“I have a special talent for organization.” Joan closed her eyes, breathing deeply.
PLANET Z
Harriet’s birthstone was a lump of coal. Nothing ever went right in her life. At the school dance, her classmates tied her up, put her in a circle made of salt, lit candles, and performed ritual rhythmic gyrations, an attempt to summon the dark Lord to take her away. It didn’t work. But the principal tried to blame her for the incident. Her foster parents couldn’t be bothered to show up to the inquiry. Eventually, she graduated and took the first bus out of town. No one knows where she wound up, and she never attends any of the reunions.