In my family, whenever we saw a sign that said be alert, we’d ask what is a lert. So, that Halloween, I wanted to dress up as one. We fashioned a rubber suit with masses of writhing tentacles and blinking rolling eyeballs. And a huge gaping maw of dripping fangs. Which doubled as my candy bag. They sprayed me down with slime and then we went out. From house to house, spreading horror and fright. It was when we got back home, and I looked in the bag to find a trove of chocolate bars and a severed human hand.