- Richard
- Lizzie
- Tom
- Serendipidy
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
RICHARD
Roger
Let me introduce my dad, Roger.
He’s eighty-eight, and can be a miserable git some of the time. Well, an awful lot of the time actually. To be fair, he struggles with getting about, which is frustrating, and with his heart, digestion and a catalogue of other medical issues, who can blame him? I’d most likely be pretty grumpy too.
He does have his good moments though, and playing cards with him is always fun.
I don’t think he’s ever wanted fame or attention: but now, I’ve made him internet famous. Well, just a bit.
That’ll make him really grumpy!
SERENDIPIDY
The great thing with locking flight deck doors is that if the hijacker is already the wrong side, nobody’s getting in to intervene.
That’s why I learned to fly a plane, and now the life of 420 passengers and a dozen crew was in my hands, or as we like to say in the industry, four hundred and thirty one souls.
That doesn’t include me.
I have no soul.
And I have no qualms about what I’m about to do.
Air traffic control are begging me to do the right thing. I listen, but ignore their plea.
Roger, and out.
LIZZIE
Wrench, he said. Roger, she replied. Screwdriver. Roger. Spark plug gapper. The what? Spark plug gapper. What did he mean? She searched the tool box and couldn’t find… what exactly? Quick, the spark plug gapper, he shouted. She looked at him in a panic. The what, the what? And then, it was too late. He had lost his human form. Well, now you know, he said. The spark plug gapper was the code to reset her brain-vision connection. For some reason, it hadn’t worked this time. He would have to complain to management, because he did like his human helper.
TOM
A voice in the darkness
Timmy loved old WWII movies. He would go around the house talking in to a microphone in the most monotone voice: Rodger Wilco Out. Had no idea what it meant, but it sounded cool. When New York fell to Harvesters he joined the resistance. He rose to senior signal operator for the upper Hudson river valley. Timmy’s call code was: Rodger Wilco Out. Late at night some grunt in makeshift recon bunker would hear those words and feel less alone. At the end of the war Timmy learned what the world conveyed: I have received your message and will comply.
NORVAL JOE
When I saw Roger’s name on caller ID, I wondered why he was calling on a Saturday morning.
The person calling was the community service officer from Loomis to tell me that Roger had died in a hit-and-run.
The driver was messing with his phone.
So, he called his wife and said he hit something and needed to hide his car in the in-law’s garage.
Roger was alive when he was found, but he was too severely injured and died at the hospital.
The driver got ninety days. The judge didn’t want it to be a hardship on his family.
PLANET Z
Everybody knows Johnny Appleseed, but do you remember Freddy Chainsaw. While Johnny planted apple trees, Freddy cut them down. Of course, they’re both legends and not quite the real people they represent. Johnny was planting apples that could be mashed into cider and not the delicious ones we eat today. And the chainsaw hadn’t been invented during Freddy’s time, he probably used axes and saws. But the principal is still the same. And the tall tales that preserve their memory, twisted or not, spark, the imagination of children of many generations. And we are grateful that Johnny came out victorious over Freddy .