It was a sad day at action Park. Johnny, the lifeguard had drowned. The Park owner insisted on giving him a Viking funeral. They found a bumper boat in the maintenance shed with a busted engine they could use. They threw his body in it and set it on the wave pool. They tossed in some wood and newspaper and gasoline, and when it was time through in a lit match. It took them three tries before the fire caught. All the other guests and staff raised their beers to toast Johnny. During the ceremony, two more stupid kids drowned.