- Richard
- Lizzie
- Lisa
- Norval Joe
- Serendipidy
- Tom
- Planet Z
RICHARD
What’s in a name?
The food was rather good. I was glad I’d splashed out on decent wine.
Sitting back in her chair, she gave me a quizzical look.
‘Go on then, I’m up for a laugh. Tell me your porn star name.’
This was awkward. I’d only posed as a porn star for a joke, I blurted out the first name that came to mind… ‘Erm, my name is Ivor Biggun!’
She laughed.
‘That’s not how it’s done, you can do better than that.’
I must have looked confused.
‘It’s your first pet’s name and your favourite band!’
‘Ah, ok. It’s… Fluffy Butthole!’
LIZZIE
“My name is… She stopped talking and started clicking. Everyone stared. For a full minute, she just clicked.”
“Wait. You have literally lifted this from that film.”
“No, I wrote this.”
“You didn’t. It’s from that alien film.”
“Ah, aliens. Right. In my story, there are no aliens. Something malfunctions in her brain and she stops using words.”
“Forever?”
“Yes!”
“Forever…?!”
“Well, I’m not sure. I’m not that far into the story. I was thinking something neurological.”
“Ah, ok. My name is… Mrs. ClickClick.”
“Funny…”
“Get a better story. And don’t lift any idea from a film again.”
“I didn’t!”
LISA
A Tricky Question for a Tuesday
The rain tapped at the open window. The wall clock ticked away the hours. The scent of petunias drifted into the Drs office; white, austere. Posters shouted the dangers of smoking, missing vaccinations and too much sugar. An ordinary Thursday.
Holly pondered the question a little longer, inhaled, then began,
“My name is…”
A roll of distant thunder and a darkening sky.
“My name is…”
Daughter, Alice, squeezed her hand and let slip an uncomfortable smile.
A flash. Bright and shocking. Lightning followed swiftly by a deep boom of thunder.
Holly tried again, “My name is…” a big smile, “Rumplestiltskin?”
SERENDIPIDY
My name is immaterial.
It is unimportant and of no consequence.
I’ve always held the opinion that actions speak louder than words, so if I’m going to be known for anything it will be what I do, rather than the name I go by, that matters.
Still, one has to stand out from the crowd; to be uniquely identifiable.
So, although my name is unknown, my signature is no secret:
A playing card – the three of clubs – folded in half, and placed in the mouth of my victim.
What it means matters not.
It is my signature.
Who I am.
NORVAL JOE
At the car, Sabrina wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffed, and held a hand toward Linoliamanda. “Give me my backpack, Lindymindy.”
Her face flushed. “My name is Mandi. You know that, and I wish you wouldn’t be so rude to me.”
Though Mandi held the backpack to her, Sabrina snatched it away and slung it over her shoulder. “We have more important things to worry about than your tender feelings.”
Sabrina climbed into the backseat of the Weinerheimer car without another word.
The other three paused, stunned by Sabrina’s behavior before they all got into the car as well.
TOM
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
My name is Timmy. That bastard Tom has been killing me off story after story for 20 years. I was Kenny before Kenny was a thing. The only one having more grief here at the challenge was the midget At least he got to retire to Florida. It’s been trying, but I think I can wait him out. Not getting any younger there. Five years tops. Dear SERENDIPITY hows-bout we do a bit of ghost writing? Catch my drift? Man is a heavy sleeper. Just saying. So, what happens to me this week? Juggling flaming chainsaws on a unicycle. Great.
PLANET Z
All of the gods of all time gathered. So many pantheons. So many planets, galaxies, and dimensions. So many eras and civilizations. All powerful, all knowing, all loving. Loki of the Norwegian gods put out a massive table of my name is stickers, but nobody needed them. Even the most obscure patron of methane from a far distant gas giant was known to all. Gods tended to stand with their Ra and not their common domains. Thor stood with the Norwegians, raw stood with the Egyptians. Yahweh stood alone, sipping his wine. The gathering adjourned, and everyone went back home.