There’s only one way to separate the Californians from the Texans.
Shout THE STARS AT NIGHT ARE BIG AND BRIGHT!
See who claps four times and shouts DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS.
Those aren’t the Texans.
Those are the Californians, pretending to be Texans.
Hit them. Kick them. Beat them down.
Hang them by their entrails.
We fire our guns in the air and eat our Whataburgers and drink our Lone Stars and cheer.
We are Texans. And we are loud and violent and proud to be Texan.
Wait. Who is that? Who is drinking a Bud Light?
Californian!