When the rumors came out about Sweeney Todd and the pies, you’d think the city would be revolted and disgusted. But the truth was, the pies were actually delicious. So the city made a deal with him. They’d provide him with condemned criminals and political inconveniences to make pies, and head provide his grooming expertise to the magistrates at no cost. All kept on the hush-hush. Those rumors about him being a murderer and those pies disposing of the bodies? How absurd. The papers will print anything these days. Just a little off the top, freshen me up, please.