Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.
This is Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Sixty-Four, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was “Nasal Spray”
Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
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Ellie
She listened to her rapid, pounding heartbeat, heard her rasping breath and excessive, excruciating coughing echoing out into the air, saw her weakened hands shake and shudder. She felt awful.
It was her fault. It was always her fault. She’d insisted that she was ill, to get the sick leave she’d wanted.
Jerry never found about Rick, and every morning her husband left for work none the wiser about what went on after he left.
Of course, this meant she had to pretend to be sick, and actually use the medicine Jerry got her.
And now she’d overdosed. Fucking nasal spray.
Rah
Chalon and Nick were the best of friends.
Matching inhalers. Matching bifocals. Matching list of allergies.
Now they were sick together.
“We couldn’t! The germs!”
“Quiet Nick.”
Chalon is always the brave one, Nick thought.
“It’s our only hope of survival.”
Both stared at the bottle of Flonase.
“I had to forget mine, didn’t I?” Nick sighed.
“I’ll go first.” Chalon picked up the bottle and dosed.
“Now you.”
Nick started to refuse but saw the determination in Chalon’s eyes. With solemn gaze, he dosed.
They huddled together for the last moments until their mothers called them in for supper.
Zackmann
nasal spray
I never like to hear you wheezing
l never like to see you this way
I never want you on me sneezing
I only want to hear you breathing clearly, have some nasal spray
nasal spray
nasal spray
Oh baby I know I know it can be addictive but try some nasal spray
sometimes we all reach for the medicine cabinet for colds like yours today
I am not saying prayer cant help you
but God gave us nasal spray.
Achoo Achoo
Achoo Achoo
I only want to stop your wheezing, please have some nasal spray
AM Earley
June frantically, blindly, searched her purse. One robber had a gun to her head. The other trained a gun on her husband. No one watched her hands. She pulled out her nasal spray, aimed for the robber’s face and gave him two eyefulls in one blast. She easily subdued him, and called 911, as her husband knocked the other robber to the ground.
After the police arrived and the paperwork handled, June apologized for insisting on taking the shortcut.
“It didn’t ruin our anniversary, June. It reminded me why I love you, Mrs Badass.”
Steven the Nuclear Man
The alien sneezed onto my faceplate and Karen gagged. I shrugged in my spacesuit. “They think it’s weird we move air to communicate.” My suit was already translating the booger’s message for us. “With this planet’s wind, you couldn’t hear someone talking. The mucous transmission of pheromones – ”
“I have a doctorate in xenobiology; don’t mansplain it to me.”
I realized I’d blown any chance of a date – and then I saw the nude human. “Garner’s gone all nature hippie.” Garner approached one of the aliens.
Karen gasped. “Oh crap. He’s got allergies.”
Garner sneezed on the alien.
Chris the Nuclear Kid
I could not smell anything. As I walk through the door I felt something ooze from my nose. I turned to face the bathroom mirror and saw a glob of green. It oozed even faster getting bigger, then fell off. But, it was big as a basketball!
It started to wiggle, so I backed away. Then, as the thing took form, it looked like a humanoid. It started to move towards me, but I grabbed the nasal spray and sprayed the thing. After a while there was nothing but a puddle of green. Thank goodness there had been a drain.
Tom
Professor Amyl nitrite had unearthed an ancient scroll in a tomb in Southern China. After much analyzation by his colleagues the document was authenticated as the work of Sun Tzu author of the Art of War. What made this scroll so astonishing was that the descriptions within were absence from any existing version of the Art of War. The title of the scroll was the Art of Sneezing. It described how a warrior may use nasal spray to disarm an adversary. A rare spice from ShoeYang caused a strong irritation in the nose, but greater in the eyes. Sot bad.
Danny
Damn, these allergies. I’ve tried corticosteroid, topical decongestant, antihistamine, and natural saline nasal sprays, as well as a combined use of all sprays. Even with a combined use of all nasal sprays, it feels like I’m on a rollercoaster, the topical decongestant causes obscene swelling and damages the delicate mucous membranes in the nose, the corticosteroids reverse that swelling but dries out my nose, which the natural nasal sprays relieves. I’m certain the nasal spray companies have conspired together to make products that each create problems the other products solve. Then I finally realized, just get rid of the dog.
TJ
You’ve gotten them mixed up again.
I did not. Spencer Tracy was a detective.
No he wasn’t.
He wasn’t?
No, you’re thinking of Dick Tracy.
Dick Tracy was an actor.
No, Dick Tracy was a comic book detective from the 1930s. Spencer Tracy
was an actor.
Maybe Spencer Tracy played Dick Tracy?
No, that was Warren Beatty.
Oh, I see. Spencer Tracy was in “Gone With the Wind.”
No, he was in “Inherit the Wind.” Warren Beatty was in “Dick
Tracy.”
PLEASE! This is a family podcast.
*snort
Pardon me, but I’ve got to clean diet Coke off of …everything.
Norval Joe
Gilbert slammed his textbook shut with a curse and swiped at his watering eyes with the back of his sleeve.
“These allergies are going to make me fail my English final,” he sniffed wetly and searched for a Kleenex.
Throwing the soggy tissue into the waste basket he stumbled into the bathroom and found his roommate’s bottle of nasal spray.
The first day they shared the room, Gilbert promised to never touch his friends medication.
“Experimental,” Gilbert scoffed. “If it works for Jerry, it’ll work for me.”
Along with the antibodies to hold zombiism in recession came Jerry’s infectious germs.
Planet Z
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Hard times have hit the big top. The circus is coming to ruin.
The elephant’s allergies are acting up, and we can’t afford nasal spray.
The ringmaster’s pawned his rings, so he wears those black gloves all the time so his love, the bearded lady, don’t notice it.
Try the cotton candy… taste funny, don’t it? They’re using a cotton-poly blend now.
And the trapeze act out of Lebanon, The Flying Mohammeds, somehow they got on the No Fly List. Damn this 911 bullshit.
The caliope’s missin a few notes, and the goddamned clown car’s run out of gas.
Everybody get out and push.
My beloved Maltese, whom I named Danny Dwyer after, died on April 4, 2011. I will never get over him, but this weekend, I started to move on. Today I adopted a new maltese, one that was rescued from a high kill shelter in the northern part of Florida. Little Fredrick (and I mean little, only 6.2 pounds), was found as a stray, but it is quite obvious the approximately 8 year old dog was the product of a puppy mill. Fredrick was only neutered about 2 weeks ago, and the poor little guy has lost most of his lower teeth due to periodontal disease. He has had a rough life, was lucky to have been rescued by VIP rescue, and little Fredrick was even luckier to have found his way to my home. He has many behavioral issues, he is mostly fearful and anxious, but he is not a biter. We have already started his rehabilitation, and he is peacefully sleeping in his kennel (Danny’s formal kennel). And that…..is the good news. Danny Lee, gone, but never forgotten. Welcome home Fredrick.
Yay rescue doggie!
So, folks, I used the new theme elements and tightened up the ending… any thoughts?
-ls/cm