The Dangerous Salad

I ordered a Chef’s Salad, but the chef didn’t want to part with his salad. He does that sometimes, the crazy bastard.
So I ended up with a Dangerous Salad instead.
Nothing was dangerous about the ingredients themselves, mind you. From the iceberg lettuce to the herb-encrusted wheat bread croutons, you’d assume that it would be benign.
You’d assume wrongly. Because a salad’s ingredients might all be ordinary, it’s the arrangement of those ingredients that can have fatal consequences.
Well, that and the salad dressing. I mean, who ever heard of Arnsenic Vinaigrette?
I specifically ordered fat-free Arnsenic Vinaigrette, dammit.