Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.
This is Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Eighty-Seven, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was Zoo
And we’ve got stories by:
Thomas
Sevda
Peter W.
Laina Ash
Chris Munroe
Zackmann
Tom
Abernathy
Paladin
TJ
Norval Joe
Sachy Rexen
Planet Z
And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post.
Thomas
It was a zoo in there. Every farewell party they had at the office turned out this way. Mr. Wood, the boss, a small person, took off his clothes and danced on the counter that held the doughnuts and coffee machine. Today, his secretary, Greta, was in the corner by the water cooler. She sobbed and blubbered about leaving for her job in Austin. She would miss Mr. Wood and their impromptu couplings in the copy room, and she would miss Mr. Wood’s attention, and the smell of his cologne. Most of all, she would miss the farewell parties.
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It was a teasing zoo. Someone had the bright idea, and had the monetary backing of rich, Hollywood, self-indulgent, debauchees. Those invited, and attending the zoo could throw things at the monkeys and squirt water in the faces of the older animals. The zoo was very popular for a while, but when word got out, PETA, the SPCA and several other animal rights groups stormed the zoo and took the operators hostage, only to turn the tides by opening a teasing zoo of their own. This time, the animals had their chance for revenge, and it was horrendous, but funny.
Sevda
The monkey slips his hand into the pocket, gently withdrawing the master key as the attendant slumbers against the enclosure. He scampers over to the door, hands fumbling with the turning of the lock. Nearby animals watch the events unfold. “FREEDOM!” he yells, the enclosure suddenly evacuated. He pauses noticing the longing look from the animals. He sets out on his self appointed quest freeing everyone. Some run, fly, or slither off with glistening eyes of mischief. “RUN!” he chants, scurrying up a tree, swinging branch to branch alongside the zoo’s parade discovering their new life.
Peter Wood
The last rays of sunlight glint over the high perimeter wall as I walk past the food stands, closed for the night, and through the litter left by the other animals – The ones the zoo cannot keep, but let in every day, with their opposable thumbs… and wallets.
The animals they let in make way for the ones they cannot keep out. The lions roar, preparing to sleep but rats are the main residents, as big as cats are ignored by the keeper who approaches.
“Excuse me sir, we’re closed now, can you make your way to the exit.”
Laina Ash
There’s a hippopotamus in my line who can not make up her mind.
A goldfish that can’t stay focus enough to finish the sentence that almost out of his mind.
A group of kittens to interest in what’s happening next to them to tell me what they need.
A dodo that’s living up to his name when I tell him his choices are on his feed.
A bunny that’s to quite to tell me what she wants to eat, that with me speaking up for her to hear me, she thumps and try to flee.
I know I’m the zookeeper today, but I feel like I’m the one in the cage. I guess its just one of those days. *Sighs*
Munsi
“You will not turn this courtroom into a zoo!”
The judge seethed, and I suppose I saw his point. Calling a lion tamer in as a character witness was one thing, but a cage of monkeys as “evidence” in a murder trial was beyond the pale.
Perhaps I should have apologized.
Instead I threw open the cage.
Monkeys exploded out of it, and everything was chaos. Lawyers, bailiffs and jurors scrambled, dodging flying poo as best they could. Hilarious.
I was sad to make my exit amidst that grand chaos.
But I had to. They’d have inevitably found me guilty…
Zackmann
This all started because I am an animal keeper and there was a new program director who did not understand the concept of a morning zoo radio show. Although the noises the animals made voiced more sense than some of the other radio shows especially the extreme left or right wing talk shows. If someone tells you a trained monkey could do a job, they never tried to train a monkey. It was like taking candy from a baby, nearly impossible. Now I am the morning guy. The animals are gone but it the studio still smells of monkey pooh.
zackmann
Hello, have some candy. Since I am at work most of the time I am awake, Halloween is one of the few times I see any of my neighbors.
The teenager asked “Was it your house that had apelike creatures running around it last week? My mother thought that something had escaped form the zoo.”
“Sorta” he replied “I didnt have time to decorate so I called Rent-a-Morlock” “How old is your little brother.”
“He is not really my brother. I thought myself too old to go trick or treating so I called Rent-a-Child so I would have an excuse.”
Tom
The Baltimore Asylum for the Criminally Insane is located in a 250 year old brick star fortress. In its subterranean level is ward 5e, a section surround by walls 14 feet thick. The guards on Ward 5e are rotated every 12 hours. In the American Penal system this facility is where the worst of the worst are warehoused. It is called the Zoo. The reigning King of the Zoo is inmate 471066j Lenard C. Parker. Mr. Parker dispatched a guard to his creator with no more than two sheet of note paper. He did it in less than five minutes.
Abernathy
They met at the same time everyday. The sun was just setting and the zoo was winding down. Nora walked over to Larry. They waited patiently for the last of the visitors to leave. Larry turned to Nora. “Not sure I can do this anymore.” Nora felt his sad gaze and asked. “What choice do you have?” Larry grumbled. Smiling Nora said. “Besides look at the perks and the cool hat you get to wear.” In a deep announcer voice she said. “Lar Lar the Dancing Bear!” Larry forgot he still had the hat on and knocked it off quickly.
Paladin
They said it couldn’t be done. If I hadn’t seen it myself I wouldn’t have believed it either. I’ve seen electric guitars, electric pianos, electric drums, even an electric trumpet once. But she brought something to the music scene nobody’s ever seen before. All it took was one show to make her a household name. No drums, no guitars, not even a vocalist. Just one artist backed by lasers and pryotechnics and fifty foot amps hooked up to a little plastic tube. That was the day the world got to know The ‘Zoo.
TJ
eMusicalChairs.com finally started matching me to people in my area — like Dana, a city assessment worker. She appraised my dress-casual sweater, assessed my manners and bearing. She filed interrogatives regarding my hopes and dreams weighted against her own. She was able to compile a dossier and prospectus on our future together by the time we were ready to leave, but what impressed me most was the PowerPoint presentation she whipped together in support of her arguments. Cold and dispassionate as this was, I actually wanted to meet again. For her, however, the numbers just didn’t add up. Quelle damage.
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Don’t do this. Just don’t. Don’t meet your blind date at the zoo. This is a surefire recipe for disaster. Especially if you’re FUNNY?! Like me? Thinking I’m just really funny? I mean yeah, there were fake warnings I’d planted in her newsfeed about gorillas loose, and sure my antics in a gorilla costume have brought the house down at parties. But to come up behind her in suit and tie, flowers in hand and say to a nearby small child, “Look son, they were right! One of them’s escaped!” well… that just did not go over well at all.
Norval Joe
Milford Sackhacker went to the zoo everyday at lunchtime and watched the monkeys on thier island. Surrounded by a moat, they were protected from malicious visitors, and at the same time, trapped.
They lived comfortably, yet Milford felt this was wrong. These creatures were denied the rights guaranteed to other primates.
Early one morning Milford dressed as a zookeeper and slipped into the zoo. He rowwed a small boat to their island.
“I’ve come to set you free,” he told them.
Unfortunately, they recognized him from his daily visits and thought he must be a pervert. They ran away, screaming.
Sachy
The Zoo, really?! Ugh. Why is it when I hear the word I just can’t stop all the bad memories. Normally when people hear they are going to the Zoo they think about all of the wonderful things that they can see and experience. Not I. The Zoo just reminds me of the time the orangutan vomited over the glass. Or the time the elephant, Sumba, peed and it got all over my leg. Pandas! PANDAS! Oh, the thought of a panda scares the living crap out of me. Just a friendly PSA, don’t get too close. Ugh, the Zoo.
Planet Z
I remember seeing a zoo where the animals were in cages and there being brass signs saying LION and GORILLA and other names.
Then came open enclosures and plastic signs saying what they ate, where they came from… occasionally they said ENDANGERED or THREATENED.
Audio tours showed up. Clunky infrared headsets and timed tapes in Walkmen. MP3 players followed those.
Now, we punch up videos on smartphones, getting a quick lesson, and a bit of high-handed environmentalism in between the ads.
I watch an oryx standing by the path flicker. Then the zebra behind it.
Holograms.
Food’s was expensive, anyway.