One Pill

Alice held the pills in her hand and remembered what the strange lady sang: “One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small.”
Alice looked at herself in the mirror. “What if I want to make my ass smaller and my boobs bigger?”
The strange lady thought for a moment and looked through a leather-bound notebook. “If you mash up one pill in bananas and smear it on your chest while using the other as a suppository…”
They experimented on the Mad Hatter, the two Tweedles, and most of the residents of Wonderland before getting it just right.