The Wacky Adventures of Abraham Lincoln 61

Hannibal Hamlin and Andrew Johnson faced each other across the mud puddle.
“Can’t you just flip a coin?” asked Hannibal of his soon-to-be former boss.
Abraham shook his weary head. “The Treasury has none to spare,” he said. “Every last penny has gone towards the war effort.”
The crowd surrounding the mud pit taunted Hamlin.
“Coward!”
“Tiebreaking fool!”
“Knave!”
“Weakling!”
Hannibal Hamlin rolled up his sleeves and picked up the rope. So did Johnson.
Half an hour later, the men remained on either side of the mud puddle.
“You’re tugging the rope, right?” asked Lincoln.
Hamlin and Johnson laughed together.