Welcome to the thirty-eighth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was supposed to be selected by Tom from Footnote, and it’s a kiss.
Eleven stories were submitted this week. Double digits!
A rookie this week… Simon H joins the fun!
And, once again, some disturbing madness from Planet Z.
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… I still haven’t decided what it will be, but I will be sending them one.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!
The full text of each story:
LAIEANNA
The princess passionately kissed the seaweed, only to come away with a rash. She bent for a pucker upon the rock, tripping and bashing three teeth. The thistle left it’s love with scratches on her face and a snail’s secretions caused bumps to surface around her lips. The dog was less receptive, taking a chunk from her chin. Then the skunk freaked at her affection, spraying her with a rather potent stench.
“I told you not everything turns into a charming prince,” the king scolded before handing her over to her new husband Prince Barftog of the Northern troll clan.
SIMON H
“‘A kiss?’ the Roman said. ‘Can’t you just tap him on the shoulder?’
‘No’ he replied, ‘No I can’t.’
‘But we know him. We can get him ourselves, keep you out of it! ‘
‘No, I want to do it.’ How could they understand the years of frustration? The look of those parable telling lips?
‘But this is history! You want to be famous for kissing a man?’
‘A kiss will just look better alright?’ He straightened his robe and breathed deeply. ‘How do I look?’ he said.
And with the mob close behind him, he walked into the Garden.”
CALEB
Moonlight and Love songs never out of date? Ha. Don’t make me laugh.
Ever since the Lycanthrope Plague of 2037 when we had to blow up the moon, those old love songs just serve as a painful reminder of science gone wrong.
Hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate? More like nano-bots full of cholesterol dissolving enzymes and oxygen re-circulators to keep us from strangling on this thick grey polluted air.
And yet, in all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, when I’m loaded I find myself telling my subcutaneous audio matrix, “Play it, S.A.M.”
TOM
He gave him a peck on the check then whispered the following into the rabbi’s ear. “There’s a bounty on your head for your rather indecorous act in the temple”
“How much?” inquired Jesus
“30 pieces.” Said Judas
“30 pieces!” yelled Peter
“We got 60 for half the damage in Damascus.”
Soon all the apostles were bitching and moaning about the take.
Jesus raised his hand they all fell silent.
“Everyone knows their positions in Gethsemane?”
The shills nodded.
“And Judas try to make the kiss more convincing this time.
Caiaphas may be a mark, but he’s a shroud mark.”
CAROLINE
During the summer of 1964 while camping at a place called ‘Eels Foot Inn’ his family arrived, our eyes locked. Jack was my age.
Strangely, both families pushed us together throwing out the water, telling us to get more. Minding not in the least and giggling childishly off we went. At 15 and very slow courting, the days were flying by. Myself both shy and waiting anxiously. One day with tension rising while sitting on a bench overlooking the river he turned to me “may I kiss you?” The sweetest most innocent kiss of my life never to be forgotten.
ANDREW
Sealed with a kiss a phrase that’ll haunt me until my demise.
“It’s just a kiss,” I thought to myself. “What harm could that do.”
Little did I know I had a sealed a pact with She Who Must not be Named an entity as ancient as she is evil from a distance and dimension unfathomable to most men.
I kissed her for that age ole’ reason. She must’ve taught the sirens their tricks for she is the first of all evil seducers.
“‘Paradise’ indeed… Meatloaf mate`” I mused.
A kiss for the abyss was what it was. It came.
RUSSELL
I don’t date goth girls anymore, and here’s why.
We sat on the couch. She was dressed entirely in black, of course, with her face whited-out, wearing enough eyeliner to sink a battleship.
It didn’t matter, I wanted her–bad, and had been getting nowhere for weeks, now.
I decided to go old-school this time. “Give me, a kiss to build a dream on,” I sang.
It worked.
She leaned in close, put her mouth to mine, and ripped half of my lower lip off with her teeth.
I can’t fault her logic. A nightmare is a dream, after all.
RAHEL
Romeo likes my elbow for some reason. Well, not exactly the elbow–the area just above it. He likes to kiss it for minutes at a time.
I really don’t understand why, but I love Romeo, so I let him do it as much as he wants. Only at appropriate times, of course.
Sometimes the skin above my elbow is red and raw, as though it had been wiped repeatedly with damp sandpaper.
Well, in a way it has.
Yes, I keep on putting up with it. What else can I do? Oh, the things we do for our cats.
ELISSON
Mortimer knew he was dying.
He had traveled to the deepest, darkest jungles of Africa to spread the Lord’s Good News. He had started a school and, later, opened a hospital that offered rudimentary health care to the impoverished natives of his village.
Rudimentary, indeed. They could do nothing there to save him.
He had hit the trifecta, coming down with amoebic dysentery, a monster tapeworm, and, finally, a raging case of cholera that had sapped his last reserves.
To die in your sleep is God’s kiss, Mortimer thought, ruefully.
But to shit yourself to death is God’s Hershey’s kiss.
K-NINE
007 struggled against his restraints until he saw the door handle turn. Into the room slipped Vod Kanockers, a Bulgarian double agent.
“I’m here to help end this” she whispered.
Bond could feel her hot breath as she loosened the ropes holding him to the chair.
She untied him and said, “I know where the remote device is, I’ll take you there, but first…”
Their lips met passionately.
Bond pulled away, “Let’s go.”
Suddenly the room blurred. “What… Why?” he implored.
“That’s for giving my sister the clap, you bastard”
10 seconds later part of London disappeared in a flash.
BROTHER OSRIC
We’re getting out of the car and heading toward her side porch. Side porch, that’s a good sign, right? Her parents won’t be looking out that way.
Good restaurant–sure cost enough–and great movie. It’s gotta be worth more than a handshake, right? Although the feel of her hands, cool, not sweaty… wish I could say the same…
Crossing the grass… Aw, man, I didn’t know they had a dog…
Up the steps…don’t scrape the shoe, that’s not cool, pretend nothing happened…
The porch light went on! Crap. That tears it…
“Motion sensor,” she says, an– mmmmmmmph!
Heaven.
PLANET Z
Prince Charming got word of fresh meat in the forest and hopped on his horse.
He arrived in the clearing, where Snow White’s crystal coffin rested.
What a nice piece of ass, he thought. He liked brunettes.
Too bad about the ugly dress, though.
Not that she’ll be wearing it long.
Charming mumbled the enchantments and felt his lips tingle.
One kiss, and she’d be back to life. Good as new.
And ready to fuck.
Sadly, the spell was temporary. And only worked once on any particular corpse.
Too bad. This one would be worth screwing five or six times.
Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme for next week’s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.
(In case you’re interested, I’ve settled on “Clair de Lune” as the opening music and “Moonshine” by Michael Oldfield from the Tubular Bells II album.)