The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Munsi
• Danny
• Jeffrey
• Charlie
• Richard
• Tom
• Lizzie
• Serendipity
• Anima
• Norval Joe
• Tura Brezoianu
• Planet Z

MUNSI

My Creed
By Christopher Munroe

What is best in life?

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Now, it’s 2015, we want to be inclusive, so let me add: Crushing female/non-binary enemies and hearing male/non-binary lamentations is also best in life, in whatever combination is appropriate to your experience, both of your gender and that of whomever you count amongst your enemies.

It’s not “What’s best in life, given a particular limited demographic?” after all.

And if anyone claims otherwise, crush them, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of…

…well, of whomever.

DANNY

I have a crush. I’ve had this crush for over 35 years, all on the same woman I left behind in my former life. She was never mine, she never even knew I existed. We talk on a regular basis now, yet I’m sure she still doesn’t know I exist. I’ve thrown away my life for her, well, not really. I’ve thrown away my life for my own selfish reasons. Yet I delude myself into believing life all has some purpose. It doesn’t, because in the end, life is just a fiction, and this crush, is nothing more than my imagination.

JEFFREY

Jenny
by Jeffrey Fischer

As a high school junior, I had an infatuation with Jenny. She sat in front of me in Spanish class. Rather than conjugating verbs, I spent my time daydreaming of conjugating Jenny, contemplating her long, dark hair, her impish smile, and, when possible, her rounded derriere.

She had no interest in me. In fact, she probably didn’t know my name. Nonetheless, I learned why this feeling was aptly called a crush: when I saw her with her boyfriend, someone immeasurably cooler than I would ever be, my teenaged spirits were crushed.

Orange Crushed
by Jeffrey Fischer

Rush hour on Metro’s Orange line is nicknamed the Orange Crush. At station after station, riders enter the cars, first taking the seats, then taking standing room, then taking socially acceptable personal space. People cram onto cars until the doors no longer close. Someone unable to get into a car invariably shouts: “Move to the middle of the car – there’s plenty of space!” as though being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste constituted “plenty of space.”

Small wonder, then, that workers tend to arrive at their offices already in grumpy moods. It’s the perfect way to ensure service with a snarl.

CHARLIE

It was time to say goodbye to my truck. I was acquainted with the fellow running the junk yard, and he agreed that I could run the hydraulic press to euthanize my truck if I helped him drain the fluids and hazardous items from the truck before it went into the press. This included the gas tank, radiator, tires, battery, catalytic converter, air bag units, and mercury switches. I also had to remove the refrigerant from the A.C. It was a lot of dirty work, just to enjoy and videotape the few minutes it took to crush the remaining husk.

Second

I had a crush on Connie Sue Chambers. She sat one desk from the back of the room, one row over to my left. She wore her Girl Scout uniform, and her fleshy legs and her long blond hair would cause my eleven year old groin to buzz with passion. Sitting low in my seat, I could sneak a peek at her panties. Unless I was day dreaming I recall executing some maneuvers while Mr. Turner was at the front of the class. I varnished the night stick, while stealing glances of Connie Sue, sitting quietly and working math problems.

RICHARD

Recipe for disaster

“I’m not sure about this cake”, said my wife, eyeing my creation cautiously.

I could understand her reticence – I’d never baked a cake before in my life, and this was a complete departure from my usual trade – heavy engineering.

But the fact was, I’d lost my job: This was my opportunity to build a new career… Why not pastry chef, I thought?

My wife bit into my efforts and shrieked.

One expensive dental bill later, and my baking days were over.

How was I to know the crushed nuts in the recipe weren’t supposed to be mild steel?

TOM

Simple Joys

Fall in the Wine Country is a tactile experience. Acres of leaves turning color, but the real pleasure driving down highway 29 is in the air. Its known simple as: The Crush. Dozens of wineries over about 30 miles are pressing tons of different grapes. So much liquid is being processed the air is charge with the smell of grapes. The strongest concentration is outside of Rutherford, were the wineries nearly outnumber the residents. I just roll down the window and drink in the Sauvignon Merlot Zinfandel Chardonnay Sauvignon Blanc Riesling. The Crush in Gilroy is a bit more garlicy

LIZZIE

Leo’s favorite place was hanging from the old tree in the park.
He hated school, despite his mother’s words of encouragement. All he cared for was that tree, but the city council decided to chop it down.
Leo was crushed. He climbed as high up as possible and refused to come down.
When the police decided to force him down, he jumped.
To everyone’s amazement, it seemed the tree stretched and moved to soften Leo’s fall.
The tree is still standing. No one had the heart to cut it down. And Leo is still hanging from that tree… after school.

SERENDIPITY

My first crush was James Madison: He was two years above me in school and something of a high achiever.

All the girls had a thing for him. He could have had any of them.

Secretly, I hoped he’d pick me.

He didn’t, of course, he went for Sophie Tucker… She of the perfect skin, top grades, and an ability to wear a school uniform as if it was something out of Paris fashion week.

Of course, I was gutted, but I soon got over it, especially after the ‘freak’ school bus accident… which – unfortunately – crushed them both to death.

ANIMA

Summer Lovin’

Whatcha doin’ Joey?

Nothing much. Waiting for it to darken up enough for the lightnin’ bugs to come out. Got me a jar with holes punched in the lid all ready.

Nearby, neighborhood kids laughed and played flashlight tag. The heat of the day radiated from the ground.

Care if I sit here with you?

That would be alright. Shouldn’t be much longer now. Hear them cicadas sing!

Joey leaned over and invited me to share the rest of his orange soda. It wasn’t icy any more, but sure tasted good.

He also held my grimy hand.

My first Crush.

NORVAL JOE

This week Bartholomew had a crush on Brooke. Her hair was dark mahogany and fell in shimmering waves to the middle of her back. She sat in front of him in math class, next to Rachelle who Barty had fallen for a week earlier.
They couldn’t be more different. Rachelle lacked anything which could be called a curve, had white-blonde hair, and a voice as deep as most boys.
None of that mattered. If a girl made eye contact and smiled, Barty was in love.
In fact, before Rachelle it was the Linda Ronstadt poster in his Grand Father’s attic.

TURA

Crush
———
Montepulciano is famed for its wines, but their finest are secrets known only to the few.

The first pressing collects the juice released only by the grapes’ own weight. It makes the purest of all wines, reserved for the Pope and the cardinals.

In the second pressing they are trodden by the feet of virgins. This wine graces the finest aristocratic dinner tables.

The third is tramped by rude labourers, and goes to commerce. You will never see any higher grade than this.

The fourth deploys mechanical presses. This produces rough wine for peasants, and foreigners who know no better.

PLANET Z

When I was growing up, there were only two flavors of Crush soda: orange and grape.
Wikipedia shows a long list of flavors. I think I’ve seen strawberry, pineapple, and watermelon.
The rest don’t look familiar at all. And some of them sound pretty damn gross.
I mean, I’ve had Crush Pineapple, and it was really bad.
But when I poured it down the sink, it unclogged the drain brilliantly.
For a while, I used Crash Pineapple that way, but the EPA showed up one day and told me to stop.
I was ruining the environment.
I drink whiskey now.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Munsi
• Jeffrey
• Charlie
• Richard
• Serendipity
• Lizzie
• Zackmann
• Tura Brezoianu
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

MUNSI

Remember Remember
By Christopher Munroe

Remember when that one Guy tried to blow up parliament with a cartload of gunpowder?

Oh come on, you remember. Guy pulls up, gunpowder in tow, he’s intercepted, nothing explodes but he’s ALL OVER the news, people screaming for his execution? It was a whole huge thing, #GunpowderTreason was trending on Twitter and everything, EVERYONE was sharing stories .

No?

Are you sure?

Huh.

Oh, nothing, I was just wondering how that whole thing turned out. After the initial outrage I kind of lost interest.

I guess these sorts of stories get covered differently in the age of social media…

JEFFREY

One Thing to Agree On
by Jeffrey Fischer

Peter asked his dad for forty dollars to fill the car. He really wanted to get away from the boring family reunion. His dad replied, “I remember when gasoline was two bucks a gallon and you could buy a nice house for a hundred thousand.”

Peter’s granddad replied, “That’s nothing. I remember when gasoline was 75 cents and you could buy a nice house for $75,000.”

Peter’s great-grandad wasn’t too mobile any longer, but he still had his memory. “In my time, gasoline was a quarter, and a polite young man pumped it and checked your oil. Oh, and a nice house was $20,000.”

Peter said, “Every generation thinks younger people have it easier.I bet you can’t agree on one thing.”

In unison, all three elders said, “Today’s music sucks. It’s all noise.”

Common Sense
by Jeffrey Fischer

Bryan’s parents often fought. If that wasn’t bad enough, they tended to use Bryan as an intermediary in their battles. Even though both were in the same room, each would direct remarks to Bryan.

“I remember when your mother used to have a hot meal ready when I came home from work.”

“I remember when your father had a good job and could provide for us.”

“I remember when your mother was attractive.” There was a long pause after that comment. Bryan thought his father might have gone too far that time.

“Well, I remember when your father had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.”

CHARLIE

I remember when it was Thursday for the full day. I remember it came right before Friday and a little before my favorite day, Saturday. I think I was two or three months old. My dad was home on Saturdays, and it was the day he threw me up in the air a half dozen times in the surf, and caught me right before I touched the cold Atlantic. The day my parents decided I should learn to swim was the day that dad threw me far into the air, and let me fall into the water. Since I had swum around inside my mother’s womb for nine months already, I took to swimming in the ocean, immediately.

RICHARD

#1 – Back

I remember when I was a kid, addicted to Star Trek, Arthur C Clarke and Asimov… The future was going to be amazing.

Unfortunately, it isn’t: Moon holidays, flying cars, teleporters and intelligent robots are still science fiction; we still have to work for a living, iron our clothes and the same inconveniences we thought would one day become things of the past.

The future has badly let me down.

However, I have a cunning plan – I’m waiting for Marty Mcfly and Doc Brown to turn up, and when they do, I’m grabbing a lift… back, to their future.

#2 – Grandpa

Back in the day, grandpa would often take me out into the garden and stand, smoking his pipe and reminiscing about the good old days.

“I remember when this was pasture and farmland, as far as you could see”, he’d say, with an expansive gesture; “Now look at it”

Factories, roads, houses filled the view as far as the horizon.

That was before the asteroid struck.

Now, in the bleak days of eternal winter, I find myself standing in the same spot with my young son…

“I remember when this was all civilisation, as far as the eye could see…”

SERENDIPITY

I remember when I was in school, you used to tease me; you’d steal my homework and bully me in the playground.

Do you also remember?

I think not. You’ve almost certainly forgotten me – an inconsequential, unimportant name from the distant past.

A nobody.

And that suits me just fine – the lack of recognition in your eyes, that blank look you gave me when I introduced myself, work entirely in my favour. Will you remember Nurse Haven when you wake up? I don’t think you will.

But you’ll certainly remember what it was like to once possess legs!

LIZZIE

“I remember when saving a man’s life meant exactly that. People would be praised on TV for stopping someone from jumping off a bridge or for saving them from a train approaching at high speed. They were true heroes.
Nowadays, saving a man’s life means nothing of the sort. Anyone can jump off a bridge with little consequences, no one really cares, and there aren’t any trains anymore.
These days, people are hailed as heroes for saving a dead man’s life. Well, they’re half dead… Honey, where’s the gun? The beasts are at the door again and they are hungry.”

ZACKMANN

Grandpa started saying “I remember when…”
“You couldn’t wait to love me?” interrupted Joe.
“No, that is not what I was saying and have no plans to love you late at night.”
Joe said “Yes, Wen was nose guard for our high school football team junior year.”
“I wasn’t talking about the Wen kid just saying that I remember when earworms weren’t as cool as Stephanie Mabey’s Zombie Love Song but not as sucky as Baby by that Canadian kid with the funny hair.”
Joe replied. “Doesn’t have funny hair, anymore and the worst ear worms were inflicted by Khan.”

TURA

1.

“I remember when it was nowt but fields around here,” said Young Tom.

He was called Young, because he was only eighty years old.

“I remember when it were wild forests, and you could get eaten by boars!” rejoined Old Tom, Young Tom’s father.

“Youngsters!” said Great-Great Grandma. Nobody knew how old she was. “I remember when it were ice year round, a mile thick!”

“Tell us about the ape-men!” said Little Tom.

Great-Great Grandma shot him an evil look. “Any Neanderthal was twice the man you’ll ever be. I remember when…”

I sighed. There was no stopping her now.

2.

I remember when the world was young
The knife-sharp air, the mile-high trees, the tides
Reciprocating like a giant’s breath
So strong one feared the day that he might wake.

The empty skies, yet pure of any life
The swamps where giant sloths boomed, mate to mate
Primaeval oceans, wherein ichthyosaurs swam
And trilobe-teeming mud condensed to rock.

When deep convection drove tectonic plates
Which, jostling, raised the Himalayan peaks
When asteroids combining made this globe
When nuclear fusion first began our Sun.

But tell that to the young folk of today,
And they will not believe, whate’er you say.

TOM

Nostalgia
I remember when a small carton of milk was three cents at my high school cafeteria. Of course this was the 70s when the dairy industry got major subs. In fact the whole lunch program was pretty much one big subsidy. I guess they wanted to produce a generation of reasonably well fed children. My parents wouldn’t spring for a paid lunch, so I had to work in the school book store. I recall eating an inordinate amount of cookies. And a lot of tater tots. What you could get for a buck then would costs you seven dollars today.

MARSHA

(Story was over 200 words when I ran it through Wordcounter. Sorry.)

NORVAL JOE

I remember when the backyard was filled with the happy sound of excited puppies.
I remember when we used to get dressed up and head out in the dead of night to leave puppies on the porches of unsuspecting new owners.
I remember driving in the micro-van with our ears and noses alert for the presence of danger, for criminals and the evil they would perpetrate.
I remember when the pack leader stopped believing in himself, when his plastic card wouldn’t buy us food, and our home was taken away.
I wish we could go live with the Bambi woman.

PLANET Z

I remember when Dan and I took a day off of work and he took a foul ball to the head.
Dan doesn’t remember it, though. In fact, Dan doesn’t remember much of anything.
He just sits there and stares.
I could swear, he’s almost smiling.
You could set his hair on fire and he wouldn’t do anything about it.
I still take him to baseball games.
Maybe he’ll take another foul ball to the head and wake his ass up.
That way, he can tell me the combination to the safe.
Or die, and I can collect the insurance.