The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Welcome to the fiftieth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Manata of the Squirrel Bait, and it’s Location, Location, Location.
Ten stories were submitted this week. DOUBLE THEM DIGITS!
No rookies are in the mix… boo!
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
And, once again, some disturbing madness from the one we all knew and loved as Planet Z.
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

Who had the kickingest story for Weekly Challenge #52?
	Tom of Footnote
	Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club Oddcast
	Guy David of The Sixteenth
	Laieanna from Hodgepodge Point
	Terrence from Never Was
	Manata from Squirrel Bait
	Chris from Platypus Society
	Ted from Ted’s Podcast
	To4m from Tom’s Podcast
	Patti from SmittyGal
	The Artist Formerly Known As Planet Z
Free polls from Pollhost.com

WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s a packet containing at least 1 refrigerator magnet and a CD with the archive of the entire 100 word stories podcast. (Well, minus promos and junk)
Since next week is going to be the first anniversary, a Geeklabel.com gift certificate will be tossed in to the mix. Being first sometimes helps, so this week’s vote counts a lot.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!

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The full text of each story:
TOM

“Location location location” screamed the realtor
the wind ripped her words and
pulled them up the teetering bouldered cliff.
“What?” cried Brian his voice
drowned out by the pounding surf.
Weakly she extends arms pointing at
the mountain above and the ocean below.
“The subdivision is called Tsunami Estates
this doesn’t instill confidence,” yelled Brian.
“What’s in a name?” smiled the realtor.
“And the San Andreas fault line over there?”
“Dormant.”
“Brushfires?”
“Smell that ocean air.”
“See that eroding seawall.”
“Did you know this lot is directly over Sharon Stone’s hot tub?”
“SOLD”
yelled Brian dodging the cascading boulders.

CALEB

When I wake up on Saturday, the first thing I do is root around for some mail or anything with an address that can show me my location. Then I sneak out.
After a cab home and quick Keith Richards Transfusion to sober up, I sit and wait for the weekly challenge. I won’t leave that location until the weekly challenge is on my iPod.
Once it’s been downloaded, I take the bus to my special listening location, the grocery store. I just can’t shop without hearing all these wonderful stories.
When there is no weekly challenge, I go hungry.

GUY DAVID

“Rodney hated his boss, Mr. Miller. He hated his over-ironed shirt and he hated the way he would say “Real-estate, location, location, location”, meaning “buy some undisturbed part of the city and build the biggest, ugliest shopping mall on it”. Then, Rodney got fired.
Rodney got his revenge though. He forged some papers, and based on those, the company purchased some land on the name of Mr. Miller. When the big boss found out, Mr. Miller was fired immediately. After all, no-one wanted to invest in a place like Lithium, Missouri, where the sign reads population, zero.”

LAIEANNA

“Ma, I ain’t feelin’ quite right bout taken dis here land from dat city man.”
“Don’t matter no more, Pa. Man’s got his own fancy house. Ain’t no
need for this place.”
“Still not right. Down right cheap for such nice land. Gots our own
pond and everythin'”
“Dat man took our livestock fair and square and now we’re out from
under dat sinkin’ farm.”
“Funny him turning all white when our goat took a likin’ to him in the
friendly kinda manner.”
“Take that dirty talk outside! And while you’re out, fetch one of
them swamp critters for supper”

TERRENCE

Raoul followed his father and the agent into the hall. The roof
looked to be made of bone and dripped something that burned his skin.
His farther walked over the window looked out and shook his head.
The agent led them to a vast field of reeds that blew in a gentle
breeze. Again his father shook his head.
They walked on until they came to a vast cave filled with flames.
Raoul’s father reached through an opening on the far side. After a
moment, he returned with a contact signed in blood. He smiled and
said “Location, location, location.”

MANATA

You know that old cliché: “Another day, another dollar”?
Well, it certainly applies to me.
I took the first job I could get right out of college, and for the first few months I hated it with a passion. “Traveling Insurance Salesman” doesn’t sound very glamorous, I know. Especially when they transferred me to a different region.
Northern Spain? Seriously? I didn’t even know any Spanish. But, hey , it worked out great. Now I’m raking in the money and I only work one day every year: July 7th…in Pamplona.
You know that other old cliché: Location, location, location.
Andale!

CHRIS

Eight innings in, the annual Springfield Methodist Father Son Baseball game is still tied zero to zero. It’s getting very interesting though. Terry Jarvis, the Dad’s reliable lefty, just loaded the bases on three straight walks.
Who’s up next for the Son’s? None other than Terry’s boy Stephen.
Terry looks in to the catcher for the sign. Shakes off the curveball; going with the fastball. It’s slowed a bit in the later innings but his pitch location has been remarkable.
The wind up and the pitch, nailed him in the temple!
Little shit should know not to crowd the plate.

TED

I still remember being that awkward teenager, and the day my father proudly called me into his office, to discuss the birds and the bees.
“Son, Take this, put it in your wallet and keep it there. You never know when the opportunity might arise, and you’re always better safe than sorry”.
“But why?” I asked.
“Just keep it there!” he said.
I took his advice.
Don’t ever take a fathers advice. I should have known better than to listen to that fool.
17 children later, and I still have that Trojan in my wallet. A lot of good it did.

TO4M

The north American Grizzly. Not a creature to be taken lightly. Bob, Fred and Julio’s vacation expedition in the Northwest held a mix of excitement and nervousness in their pursuit of the giant beast. The plan was to approach them slowly and be as non-threatening as possible. Carelessness can get you eaten. The expedition began early in the morning and was uneventful for most of the trip. As the day progressed Bob began to doubt if this whole trip made any sense. The reality was that in terms of location the choice of downtown Seattle was indeed a poor one.

PATTI

When she entered through the double doors, the bartender knew it was 11:35. He filled a glass with ice and started pouring before she was seated at the bar.
“Vodka-tonic,” she said.
“Howzit, Nellie?” he asked.
Checking her reflection in the mirror behind the bar, she absentmindedly smoothed her eyebrows with her left ring finger.
“It goes,” she sighed.
He handed her the drink and began to make her another.
“One more, Eddie” she said after the first sip.
The bar wasn’t in the nicest part of town but the drinks were cheap and Eddie never gave her any shit.

PLANET Z

I wake up in the street, face down in a pool of blood.
Must call… must call… my cell phone, pushing buttons…. Nine… one… one…
A soothing voice over the line: “What is your location?”
The words stick in my throat. Try to choke them out, try to say “Smithlands” but all that comes out is a raspy croak.
“I’m sorry, but that is not a location I am familiar with. What is your location?”
I know I’m running out of time, but…
“What is your location?”
It’s just a recording. It can’t help me.
But it’s just… so… comforting.

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Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme for next week’s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.

Welcome to the fiftieth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Caleb Bullen of the Black Tie Martini Club Oddcast, and it’s Lithium.
Nine stories were submitted this week.
No rookies are in the mix… boo!
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
And, once again, some disturbing madness from Planet Z.
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

Who had the best story for Weekly Challenge #50?
	Manata from Squirrel Bait
	Tom from Footnote Podcast
	Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club
	Elisson from blog d’Elisson
	Laieanna from HodgePodge Point
	Sister Mary Edith
	Patti from Smitty Gal
	To4m from Stuffcast
	Tabitha from Fantabzulous and Strangely Literal
	Planet Z
Free polls from Pollhost.com

WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s a packet containing at least 1 refrigerator magnet and a CD with the archive of the entire 100 word stories podcast. (Well, minus promos and junk)
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!

---

The full text of each story:
MANATA

Hi, I’m Benjamin and I’m an addict.
I guess I came to the meeting today because I’m ready to try to kick the habit.
For my entire life, other people have made jokes at my expense. I guess I really can’t blame them. I mean, I *do* make a pretty easy target for humiliation.
You see, my mother was an /Ursus maritimus/ (that means “polar bear”), and my father was an Eskimo, so of course I’m biPOLAR.
And I’m also a bit confused about my sexuality…so I’m BIpolar.
Anyway, that’s how I came to be addicted to lithium, because I’m…well…bipolar.

TOM

“Caleb hand me that bottle of Diaka vodka,” said Tom
He poured out exactly two jiggers.
“The Sol Azul …. Laurence … please.”
Three jiggers swirled into the mixture.
Elisson tossed the G’Vine before
Tom could mouthed the words.
“Now for the pièce de resistance,” chortled Mr. Marquette.
Laieanna rolled a gas cylinder next to the bar.
Caleb, Laurence, and Elisson stared incredulsly.
“Dentist Office.” They all smiled.
Tom filled the cocktails with tiny bubbles of nitrous oxide.
After the third shot Caleb called from under the couch.
“What Frac you call this stuff?”
Dimly aware of the voice Tom mumbled.
Lithium.

CALEB

We’ve already lost eight engineers and I’m going in next.
The recyclarobot was supposed to harvest junk like batteries and industrial lubricants for lithium to be oxidized and used in the pharmaceutical industry. It stopped working last Friday even though it’s still taking in junk.
We think it’s filling the air with so much lithium oxide that your brain gets starved for serotonin and oxygen simultaneously and you hallucinate wildly until death. It only takes a few minutes but all eight, died smiling and wide-eyed.
I’m going in with a SCUBA tank now.
ACHOO…
My God! It’s full of stars.

ELISSON

Beads of sweat began to trickle down Ibrahim’s brow. This bothered him. He did not want to appear nervous, but it was stifling in the small room.
His next card skidded across the table. Four of spades, not much help there. He was in too deep to back out now, having jumped into the betting with his pair of pocket aces. Maybe they would be enough…
No, they weren’t. Fuad raised, confident as always. Ibrahim folded: no choice.
He was down to a grimy pair of boxer shorts and an explosive belt. Gaza Strip Poker was not for the faint-hearted.

LAIEANNA

I’m a freak of nature…mankind might be a better term. Super Sensitive
is just a lame way to categorize me, but I’m beyond that. Our modern
world is sensory overload for me. Anytime I come close to common
materials, the smells and sensations are overwhelming. Yay for all
day nausea! Worst part of my…condition is that most items cause a
highly allergic reaction. Lithium is almost deadly and goddamn if it
isn’t in all kinds of stuff. So here I am stuck in the woods, left by
my parents years ago like an unwanted cat. God, I’m lonely.

SISTER MARY EDITH

As a middle school Psychiatrist, I’m as much for teachers as for students.
“Ah, Ms. Silbernagel. What’s up?”
Her hands shook as she lit her cigarette. Mascara streaked her face. A colossal spitball matted her hair into a nasty snarl. She blew out smoke in a shuddering breath. “I’ve taught her for twenty years. But 8th graders now?/ I cant take it anymore!”
“Now Ms. Silbernagel, you hang in there!” I pulled out my prescription pad.
A month later I visited her classroom.
“Say hello, students!”
Dreamily they murmured, “Hello Dr. Greer.”
“Thanks again; it was just what they needed!”

PATTI

At first, Humphry hid the pills under his tongue. Then, he tried stowing them between cheek and gums. But they always knew.
So after chasing the lithium with a sip of water, they began making him hook his fingers on either side of his mouth, pull wide, and move his tongue in a slow full circle. Humphry actually enjoyed doing this when the pretty young nurses were working the meds shift. The nurses did not enjoy this and began complaining.
So Rocky, the hairy male nurse, took over administering Humphry’s meds. Since then, Humphry’s moods had become surprisingly more stable.

to4m

Bill So have you heard the new Nirvana Song?
Ted Yeah. Lithium? Yeah Kurt Cobain can’t sing it sounds like he’s
on lithium.
Bill Yeah we had a lithium at my brother’s birthday party last
month. It was hilarious. You should have heard Big Ed with
that munchkin voice! And Dave passed out and hit his head on the tank
and
Ted You dork. That’s helium. Lithium slows you down
Bill No.
Ted cobain probably was on lithium it’s for treating people who’re bipolar
Bill so he has two poles? Why would you take medicine for that?
Ted um Yeah

TABITHA

The scientific community announced this week the successful use of sugar in batteries to replace lithium. No big surprise to us. Army’s been using them for years.
First time we went out on a secret mission we only had a small window of time to complete it. We were going to assassinate Saddam Hussein. We had all our equipment, stealth suits that operated on batteries, laptops, even our weapons needed those darn sugar batteries. So imagine my horror when I heard Private Johnston chewing.
“Ah hell,” I said. “Forget it. We’ll just start a war.”
Johnston stopped chewing.
Next Topic: Your mom!

PLANET Z

Bobby loved going to the science museum.
He’d walk through the exhibit halls, eyes wide as saucers.
The Hall Of Chemistry was his favorite. A gigantic Periodic Table was up on the wall, and there were samples of every element next to their symbol.
One day, he tried to climb that wall to steal a sample.
The museum was used that that kind of thing, kids wanting to steal Gold and Platinum, or Arabs grabbing for Uranium and Plutonium.
What shocked the guards was that Bobby was climbing up the left side for Lithium.
“Weird kid,” they said, and watched.

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Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme for next week’s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.