Somewhere outside Peru, I have a vision of the llama.
“Gold is the sweat of the sun and Silver is the tears of the moon,” he says.
And vanishes.
I kneel down, digging through the dirt with my hands.
I pick out a small silver and gold llama, exquisitely crafted by the Inca many centuries ago.
It is beautiful. It is magnificent.
It is worth a fortune.
Laughing in the heat, this is no mirage, no delusion.
I wipe my sweating brow with my handkerchief, and look…
The cloth is covered with gold.
I rise from the ground, burning… burning…
Tag: magic
Well
Welcome to the Five Wells, stranger!
One is a wishing well. You can make wishes there for things like wealth, fame, and power.
The second is an unwishing well. That’s where you can take back wishes you make in the first well, because wishes always come with unintended consequences.
The third is a wishing unwell. Toss a coin in there if you want to wish something bad, like someone getting sick or something.
The fourth is an unwishing unwell. Just in case you regret using the third well.
The fifth one’s for tossing in strangers who ask too many questions.
Ken and Barbie
His name was Ken, short for “Telekenetic.”
Her name was Barbie. It wasn’t short for anything.
Barbie would bring things to Ken, and he’d lift them with his mind.
Barbie laughed.
So did the researchers, watching from behind one-way glass and through cameras all throughout the testing area.
They called it “The Dream House.”
Ironic, since Ken and Barbie didn’t dream. They gave them drugs so they wouldn’t dream.
The body paralyzes muscles during sleep, but it doesn’t disable telekinetic abilities.
Before the drugs, everything would fly around the room, the building would shake.
Now, they just wet their beds.
The Oldest Trick In The Book
Every time my neighbor Stan says “That’s the oldest trick in the book!” I ask him “Which book?”
“Well, it’s just an expression!” Stan says. “Don’t be so literal!”
As a collector of books, I own many volumes of tricks, and the oldest trick in the oldest book involves magically turning a person into a frog.
Sadly, the first page is missing from that oldest volume, so there may be an even earlier trick, but it’s lost to history.
I show the book to Stan. “See,” I say. “This is the oldest trick.”
“Ribbit,” says Stan, and he hops away.
Atlas
A pair of philosophers in shabby togas sat across from each other in the marketplace.
One claimed that Atlas the Titan held up the weight of the sky to keep it from crushing the world.
The other claimed that Atlas held on to the sky to keep it from floating away into oblivion.
“That’s just… weird,” said the first philosopher. “Everybody knows that Atlas holds up the sky.”
“Have you seen him?” said the second philosopher. “Have you seen him yourself?”
“Have you?” the first philosopher snapped back.
They lapsed back into silence, looked up, and watched clouds float overhead.
The Magic of Music
I came upon a grassy meadow
Massive human hands
Raising violin bows
Like magicians’ wands
Notes rose from the grass
Like dandelion seeds in the breeze
Rising… Rising…
Fading fading vanishing
I could not see any strings
The hands remained still
I heard music all around
A voice: “Music is the magic of life.”
I sat, watched, listened
I think of it again, and smile
The shadows grew long
I thought about heading back home
It’s still out there, that meadow
Where it is, I do not know
I’ve never come across it again
Closing my eyes, the magic returns
Blend
Would you like some coffee?
No?
Oh, you’d like some of this tea?
Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any.
You see, it’s a special blend made just for me by this Chinese holistic herbal doctor I know.
I have no idea what’s in it, but he said it’s something for me and only me to drink.
What would happen if I gave you some?
I don’t know, but I can give you his card.
What? You can’t read it? It’s blank?
But, I can… um… I think I’ll pour out this tea and put some coffee on.
Casting Spells
Some witches use wands to cast spells.
Others use potions and herbs.
But I knew of a witch who uses her body as a spellbook.
Tattoos across her limbs, dancing casts the enchantments.
She wears a deep black cloak from head to foot, but sometimes you can see her hand, snakes coiled around each finger.
Singing. Turning. Swaying.
One day, in the middle of casting a spell, she stopped.
And her cloak fell to the ground in a pile.
She’d always worried of a scar or a blemish on her skin disrupting a spell.
Powerful forces had consumed her whole.
Floodwaters
How do we make our coffee taste so good?
Sure, we spend a lot of time with the beans.
But the real secret is in the water.
You see, this water comes from The Fountain Of Youth.
Yes. The actual Fountain Of Youth.
Ponce DeLeon actually discovered it.
Then he sipped it… and died of young age.
It’s too powerful to be sipped untreated.
But if you dilute it a bit and boil it, well…
It still tastes somewhat pungent.
However, with the right beans, that pungency becomes a delicious aroma.
It brings us good health.
And healthy profits, too.
Don’t believe the frog
No, you’re not imagining things. That frog out by the castle gate can talk.
Let me guess: he says he’s a prince, and all you have to do is kiss him to change him back?
Yeah, that’s true. But he’s not telling you the whole story.
Sure, he’s a prince, but he was changed into a frog because he had been bitten by a werewolf.
Since the castle’s healer doesn’t have a cure for lycanthropy, he had the court magician turn the prince into a frog.
So go ahead. Kiss him. Be my guest.
Get your damn throat torn out.