Weekly Challenge #916 – Stolen

The next topic is Bread

LIZZIE

“Nothing but a crappy painting. A bunch of odd flowers on a dark blue background,” she said. The neighbor advised her to have an expert look at it. “Preposterous!” She knew her art. So, she tossed it in the dumpster. When it was dark, the neighbor grabbed it. He wasn’t stealing it! He had it appraised and… it was worth a million bucks! He bought a new house and a new car and told everyone he had won the lottery, just in case. Oh, and he still drives by the old house to check the neighborhood dumpster for crappy artwork.

RICHARD

Stolen!

I’ve been a victim of identity theft.

Some lowlife criminal is pretending to be me. They go through my trash at night, and somehow they’ve stolen my credit card details and the passwords to my social media.

To be honest, I’m not that bothered about it.

In fact, I’ve been leaving personal information for them to discover for quite some time now.

My credit has been maxxed out for years, my social reputation is at an all-time low, everyone’s chasing me for money.

Now, I just blame the scammers.

I’m perfectly happy to let them take on my failings!

LIZZIE

Stolen

We’re now knee deep in November and no further forward with the case. A case so clueless it doesn’t even have a catchy name yet, just an awful lot of missing women.

Inside is brighter than outside, the mood lower than the cloud on the moors. Oddly, it feels like the sun coming out when after discovering another body we realise he’s taken a necklace from this girl too.

It’s not much is it? But it’s something, another piece in the puzzle and progress of sorts. Our man takes souvenirs. We just need to find him and his treasure chest.

SERENDIPIDY

Sixteen years they kept me chained in the cellar.

My youth, stolen, thanks to their evil deeds.

They’re dead now, by my hand, and nobody holds me responsible. They had it coming, they say, deserved everything they got.

I’m happy to let them believe that.

But the truth of the matter is that they never locked me in the cellar at all. I made it all up – a story to justify my actions, and everybody believed me.

My youth wasn’t stolen at all. I had a great time growing up, I just hated my parents.

So, I stole their lives.

TOM

All the Presidents Kids

He always knew the election was stolen. That other dick had been a better dick by rigging the total in the city. I was child the time that happen. I was a very young man the second time, but a well place young man. I was on loan to Joe Woods group was a single propose. To route the calls from down state. IT was simple hack that surely would be fixed in the next election but not that night. The numbers came in late the so the Chicago machine could offset total, Nixon take the state, wins the election.

NORVAL JOE

Sabrina pulled out her phone and called her grandmother. “Hi Granny…”
She held the phone away from her ear and Billbert could hear the old woman shouting.
“No,” Sabrina said. “No one had stolen my phone. It’s a long story, but we’re in town and Billbert’s eyesight’s been stolen, and half his hearing.”
She put the phone back to her ear as her grandmother had stopped screaming.
“Yes. I know that’s a classic Black Knight’s move, but I can’t do anything about it. Can you come straighten him out?”
She put her phone away. “Grandma Buhmilda will be right here.”

PLANET Z

The Bleeb are an ancient race.
Once rulers of a massive empire, reduced to wanderers of the galaxy, searching for the remnants of their shattered homeworld.
Scanning… testing… analyzing chemical signatures…
Piece by piece, they reappropriate their planet.
Gathering asteroids, hurling the massive rocks through hyperspace channels.
Lifeless planets to shatter and sift.
It is when there is life that the moral question rises.
The Bleeb are honest brokers, and offer fair compensation.
Transport to new worlds. Terraforming technology, vast eons of knowledge to impart.
Some resist.
Just more to sift through when the Bleeb shatter their worlds to dust.

George on the movie set

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
This didn’t matter to the production assistant who was rounding up extras for the latest Disney pirate movie.
“Who wants twenty dollars a day?” he shouted. “And a hot lunch, too!”
George and his shipmates waved their cutlasses around, growling and scowling, doing whatever the director told them to do.
“CUT!” shouted the director, and he walked up to George. “This one’s playing Angry Birds on his phone.”
So, George was fired from the movie.
Which was a good thing. Everyone else got food poisoning from the catered lunch.

George the poet

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He wasn’t a very good poet either.
He tried to write a poem about pirates,
But nothing rhymes well with pirate.
Well, maybe admire it. And retire it.
“What about other languages?” said the captain. “Spanish for pirate is pirata. Lots of Spanish words rhyme with it.”
“I don’t know Spanish,” said George.
“In French, pirate is… pirate,” said the captain. “But I’m sure there’s lots of French words that rhyme with it.”
“I don’t know French, either,” said George.
Nobody told George that poetry doesn’t have to rhyme.

George the careful

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Other pirates would drink all night, and then wreck their rowboats on the way back to the ship.
George usually ended up as a designated rower, or he’d call an Uber rowboat, even though he never drank excessively like others did.
His shipmates mocked him for his cautiousness.
“You’re a pirate!” they shouted. “You’re supposed to be drunk and careless!”
George stuck to his routine, and he got back to the ship safely.
Just in time to throw life preservers out to his reckless shipmates, thrashing in the water.

George and the zoo

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
The captain quickly realized that George wasn’t very good at sailing, pillaging, and fighting.
So he made George the Morale Officer.
George spent his time making fresh lemonade for his mateys, asking them how they were feeling, and arranging activities such as Game Night.
A trip to the zoo, however, turned out disastrously.
The pirates ransacked the zoo, cooking and eating the various endangered animals housed there.
They woke up from their drunken stupors, locked in the gorilla cages.
George crossed out “Gorillas” from the sign and wrote “Pirates.”

George the online pariah

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
When he answers pirate-related questions on Quora and Yahoo Answers, his posts are vague and confusing.
And people downvote him on Reddit all of the time.
The editors of WikiPedia routinely roll back his updates and changes.
And I’ve yet to see an instructional video of his on YouTube that hasn’t been a magnet for thumbs down and nasty comments.
George mostly stays offline these days, communicating with family through a email and a private Facebook profile.
He flings another bird in Angry Birds and watches the structures collapse.

George and Drake’s equation

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He wasted a lot of time on things like Fermi’s Paradox.
“If there’s intelligent life in the universe, where is it?” asked George.
He drew up Drake’s Equation on a chalkboard and played with the numbers.
His conclusions were grim.
“By my calculations, there should be absolutely no intelligent life in the universe.”
“That’s nice,” said the captain. “But if you haven’t noticed, we’re trying to take over a Spanish galleon. Mind picking up a cutlass and helping?”
George picked up his cutlass and lowered the “civilization survivability” variable.

Weekly Challenge #915 – Detail

The next topic is Stolen

RICHARD

An Eye For Detail

Apparently, I have an eye for detail.

It’s both a blessing and a curse: Colleagues are always grateful when I spot their errors, particularly when it comes to reviewing important reports, checking figures on spreadsheets or the content of presentations.

Then again, it can be a pain in the butt constantly getting pestered by other people asking me to sense check their work.

Some days, it seems all I’m doing is sorting out other people’s mistakes, which means my own work is always rushed, and I rarely have time to do it properly.

Tha’ts whu its alwtys full o mistkes.!

LIZZIE

The doors to the art exhibition opened and a flood of enthusiastic visitors roamed the room. One piece in particular caught everyone’s attention. “The detail is remarkable,” they said. “Art is a remarkable… thing, isn’t it?” And someone replied “Yes, it is, remarkable!” People stared at three copper panels, a nose and two eyes, gigantic and kind of lopsided. “Just remarkable!” And this continued for hours, the word remarkable passing on from visitor to visitor like the plague. Suddenly, the eyes bulged and the nose sneezed on the stunned visitors who quickly decided that art wasn’t that remarkable after all.

SERENDIPIDY

You’ve heard the expression ‘the devil’s in the detail’, but I guess you’ve always taken it to be just an idiom.

Not so. If you look closely enough you’ll find that, hidden within the detail, the devil is indeed lurking and, what’s more, he’s looking closely at you too.

Wherever there’s complexity and confusion, he’s there, and the closer you look, the more absorbed you become, the closer he gets to you and the more absorbed into your life he becomes.

Until, finally, without even knowing it, you’ve become the devil…

And you’re screwing up the detail for everyone else!

LISA

The Search

The wall is full of more faces since you were last here. Fresh faces of women in their late teens and early twenties with the whole of their life stretching before them.

This is no casting couch. This is not the hunt for the star of a West End Production. We’re deep in the East End looking for their abductor, perhaps their killer, the reason why their loved ones haven’t seen them recently.

We’re convinced they’re all connected. And just need one tiny little detail, a miniscule clue that helps us link and ultimately find them.

It’s not looking promising.

NORVAL JOE

Because his vision had gone completely and his hearing was reduced, Billbert could only listen as Linoliumanda explained in detail how she had not followed anyone and the root of their problems was actually Sabrina.
All the while, Mr. Withybottom kept shouting, “Linny, get back in the car.”
Billbert sat on the curb.
Sabrina asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
Billbert sighed. “I can’t see anything.”
Sabrina scoffed. “You shouldn’t have left out that detail. It’s a classic Black Knight move.”
She pulled out her phone. “I’m calling my grandmother for help. Linnyninny, why don’t you listen to daddy and go?”

TOM

No Way Out
It was not so much Timmy was stupid as he was missing one important detail. Without it one would just wander down blind alleys. The missing detail was in plain sight. The man in the café saw to that. The man in the café was placed between a rock and hard place to kept Timmy in play in spite of those who were hell been to tube his career in the eyes of the high council and the elliptical reasoning of the protractor’s guild. The detail was flower in the vase: Semper Augustus. Timmy touched a petal absently. So close.

PLANET Z

I think the last time I played soccer was for the residential college’s team, where I was used as a scrub placeholder whenever a starter needed a minute or two on the sideline to catch his breath.
Another player took me out from behind, and I landed on my head.
I got up and ran back into play, yelling like a maniac… after being knocked out cold for two minutes.
Twelve men on the field. My last-ever yellow card.
And a Miller Lite in a bloody towel held to my forehead as I stumbled laughing to the First Aid Center.

George and the black skull

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Certainly not good enough for The League of The Black Skull.
You’ve never heard of The League of The Black Skull?
Well, that’s because George made it up.
George was always telling his crewmates about how he was being recruited for the secretive League of The Black Skull.
“Never heard of it,” they said.
“That’s because they’re so secretive,” said George.
“Well, if you’re talking about it, and they’re secretive, they probably won’t recruit you,” said the captain.
George slumped and sighed.
The captain fingered his Black Skull ring.

George and the doctor

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
“Open your eyes, George, said a voice.
George opened his eyes, and he saw a doctor’s office.
“Why are you here?” asked the doctor.
“To make me a better pirate,” said George.
“Well, I’m here to make you better,” said the doctor. “But not a pirate.”
“I’M A PIRATE!” shouted George.
George felt strong hands hold him, and a needle slide in his arm.
His shouting became a whisper.
“I’m a pirate… I’m a pirate…”
He felt calm, like a ship on the water.
And he was a pirate.