Author: R.

• Richard
• Lisa
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is PICK TWO The sparrow, Waveform, Limited edition, Ouroboros, Broken glass

RICHARD

— Narrow —
As things go, it was a pretty narrow requirement, some would say overly-restrictive and limiting.
I guess that was the point, really.
It’ll never work, I thought. It’s not sustainable, people aren’t going to like it, and it’s not something I could ever imagine having any real longevity.
I’d give it a few months, maybe a couple of years, at best.
Still, nothing wrong with giving it a shot – what was there to lose?
Anyway, I was wrong.
But, to keep a long story short, I’m sticking to the formula.
I’ll leave it right there, and keep it brief.

LISA

The Straight and Narrow
There was a pleasing symmetry to the fact that it was Michael’s first day at the job centre and Peter’s first day out of prison. They looked equally uncomfortable as they sat either side of the desk. Meanwhile gossip spread round the office quicker than blood on lino.
Michael was oblivious and asked “What experience do you have?” before checking his computer. “Well,” Michael didn’t flinch as he saw **MURDER CONVICTION 2001** capitalised in bold across his screen. “There’s an opening at the Abattoir?”
The office fell deadly quiet as Peter shot Michael a killer stare. “Excuse me. I’m VEGAN.”

LIZZIE

Tea, toast and UFOs. Why not? By then, UFOs were part of everyone’s lives. They had come from a planet with an unpronounceable name, waved a lot of hellos when they landed and everyone was totally smitten. How cute, how nice, how… someone ventured the word cuddly, although no one knew how that conclusion was reached and everyone preferred not to know. When the UFO exploded, everyone rushed to help. Oh… It was a different kind of UFO. Who are these now?! Well, they were certainly not cuddly. “How is your tea, and toast, sir?” The alien waved him away.

SERENDIPIDY

It’s just as well you lot aren’t narrow-minded.
After all, my stories aren’t exactly polite after-dinner conversation. They’re not particularly, fluffy, fun-filled or family-friendly.
Unless, of course, your family happens to be into murder, desecration, body fluids, cannibalism, rot and decay…
And, if that’s the case, perhaps you should invite me around for dinner sometime, and maybe we could some exchange ideas?
You could be featured in my next story!
Or, I could just report you to the cops!
Then again, there’s a good chance I might murder you gruesomely, before feasting on your warm flesh!

TOM

Not still waters

For many years we had a small home in British Columbia. It was on a rather small island wedged against a rather large island. To navigate between the two was a salt water channel named Seymour Narrows. Any one reviewing a Nautical Map would be greeted with a mass of jumbled tide lines. Dozens of reforming whirlpools. For centuries it was considered the most hazardous waters in North America. A graveyard of broke hulls. In the 1950s the largest mass of TNT in history blows a hole in Seymour Narrows. All the same pilots treat the passage with extreme care.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert went back to his room, got dressed, and pulled on his jacket. He pushed up on the wooden window frame, to slip out, but it stuck, leaving only a narrow opening. He squeezed through as quietly as possible and flew straight to the house with the van in the backyard.

The van was there with, ‘It’s a Dirty Job Septic Service’ painted on the side.

“This must be the place,” Billbert muttered and floated from window to window, looking for any sign of Sabrina.

Finally, through a basement window, he saw her, blindfolded, gagged, and chained to a chair.

PLANET Z

The font that I use the most is Arial Narrow. It’s compact, clean, and easy for me to read. In the past few years, My eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be. Other fonts like Times New Roman with its serifs look blurry at that size, even that impact font that gets used a lot with memes. For the longest time I was in denial, and I kept getting bigger monitors. Then I stopped using 4K mode so I wouldn’t embarrass myself with magnification and zoom mode. At least the text to speech button is easy to click.

• Richard
• Lisa
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is narrow

LISA

Cleaning Up
Gordon did not trust his cleaner one bit and was desperate for a reason to sack her so put webcams up in every room hoping to catch her out.
Whilst cleaning his office she saw the feed of all the rooms on his laptop and heard Gordon on the phone to a woman that wasn’t his wife. She recorded the rest of the conversation on her phone.
The next week she found an incriminating receipt which she took to Gordon along with her recording ensuring she worked for him for the rest of his life without any bleach being involved.

RICHARD

— Cat-Cam —
The internet runs on cat videos, right?
At least, that’s what they tell me, and judging by the crazy number of clips featuring cats doing outrageous, silly and bizarre things that constantly clutter up my social media feeds it must be true.
My cat, however, just sleeps. Constantly.
So, I thought I’d rig up a webcam to see what she gets up to when I’m not around – for all I know, she might invite all the neighbourhood strays in for poker and partying!
Turns out, she doesn’t.
When I’m out of the house…
All she ever does is sleep. Constantly.

LIZZIE

The Ferris wheel was located in the middle of the park. The owners were warned. That was not safe. If an accident happened, access would be difficult, people would panic, all shown live online. The owners dismissed the warning. That’s why they had contingency plans, they said. One day, the Ferris wheel started spinning out of control. Some people were thrown off from their seats. The contingency plan was activated. It worked perfectly. What didn’t work perfectly was the lawsuit. A revolving door of lawyer after lawyer, fired. Apparently, the contingency plan didn’t include the legal side of the problem.

TOM

999 Webcam

I wonder if it would be in bad tasted to have a webcam on your tombstone? Sure, it would be kind of fun in short run and in the deep long run. But that middle part would be a bit ookie. Need a mess of solar panels to fire the thing up. Would one need speakers or would just an audio jack be sufficient. Bet if you did a YouTube channel you offset production costs. Need a hook to up engagement. RIP TV quality family entertainment. What if the eyes randomly open and shut. We’ll be here all week

SERENDIPIDY

I just got my first webcam. 4K, HD, and with a whole load of technical specs that should, hopefully, justify the ridiculous price I paid for it.
Tomorrow, I’m going to set up my Only Fans account, and then, it’s simply a case of waiting for the money to roll in.
After all, that’s what it’s all about these days, isn’t it?
Home-made porn?
Of course, I’ll be capturing something of a niche market: Weeping sores, putrefying flesh, and discoloured scar tissue aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.
But this is the internet.
I just know you can’t resist it!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert lay in his bed, unable to sleep. Sabrina was a captive somewhere close by and supposedly safe, but he could do nothing about it.

He snuck downstairs to his mother’s laptop and pulled up Google maps. He knew the intersection close to Sabrina, but not the specific house. He zoomed in and checked each backyard, not knowing exactly what he was looking for.

The light for the webcam came on.

One backyard caught his eye. Next to a carport was a van that looked remarkably similar to the shooter’s from the meadow.

The light for the webcam turned off.

PLANET Z

It’s amusing to see that political commentator guy on the news occasionally who had been caught jerking off on a department meeting over his WebCam. There are hundreds, if not, thousands of willing sycophants and blowhards that you can point a camera at and fill airtime between commercials and get people watching and snarling along, and yet they keep going back to these scumbags who have shamed themselves and exploited others. The ones that they’d be replaced with are just as vile, the only difference is that they’re far cheaper, need less makeup, and that they haven’t been caught yet.