Zombies are everywhere.
There’s nowhere left to hide.
I found a boat and made it to an island in the middle of a lake, but the zombies walked along the lake floor and started to come ashore.
So, I kept the boat at sea, which really sucks because I get seasick easily.
I have plenty of food, ammo, and fresh water. And books to read.
If I need more, I go back to shore and collect supplies.
I saw a clown zombie. A freaking clown zombie.
Sick, really, twisting his guts into the shapes of animals.
But, yeah, it’s funny.
Author: R.
How do you write 100 word stories? #53
Many folk with left ventricles have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story
You will note that in our last installment I pointed out the use of convoluted word structure as a vehicle to fame and fortune. Sadly I am compelled to point out this only works 90% of the time. To grab that last 10% one must resort to the use of foreign words. Most Latin words have already been sublimated into American English, but it you look carefully there are some with damn weird conjugations that you can use. Greek is good but be sure to use them in italics. Arabic is bit snooty, but you can’t go wrong with French.
Search Party
The Bolton kid vanished after school, so we got together a search party.
We had such a good time looking, when we found the kid in the woods, we shooed him away.
“We’re having too good of a time looking for you,” we said. “Quit ruining our fun! Get lost.”
The kid cried and ran off, and we started having fun looking for him again.
The Boltons were angry, however.
“How could you do that?” they shouted.
When they joined the search party, though, they realized how fun it was.
“I hope he never comes home!” shouts Mrs. Bolton gleefully.
How do you write 100 word stories? #52
Many folk with multiple vertebrae have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story
I have found the more syllables you cram into a word the smarter you sound. People are prone to blindly agree with something said if they have no idea what the hack it meant. As a rule you can not go far a field if you stick to roman roots with a mess of suffixes and prefixes. Words used by German PhDs from the seventeen hundred are fair game. If you are at loss make a word up. Who knows some puer-ile dunce might see it and bam your in Webster’s. Try this one out hypercriticallity sounds pretty swank Yes.
Wherefore art thou?
The Verona town guard gave the Capulets and Montagues a wide berth during patrols.
“Wherefore art thou, Romeo?” shouted Juliet.
Romeo was behind a tree, clutching his bleeding shoulder. “I swear I’ll get you, bitch!” he shouted back.
Juliet swung the rifle around and squeezed the trigger.
Romeo yelped in terror as the bullet struck the tree he was behind.
“Come out and tell me how my beauty is like the sun one more time, you creep!”
Romeo heard Juliet’s father chastising her.
He made a quick escape… and took a bullet in the back.
“Good shot, Daddy!” Juliet cheered.
How do you write 100 word stories? #51
Many folk with apposing thumbs have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story
If your goal is to put someone to sleep nothing beats a good bedtime story. Though cadence and tone are important don’t forget the list of essential words. Soft, floating, warm, wrapped, resting, heavy, drift, peacefully. You are laying on a pile of plush pillows. They rise from the deck of a boat floating gently down the meandering river. You are wrapped in warm blankets. All the world is resting. Your eyelids are growing heavy. You drift peacefully to sleep. An alien tractorbeam is lifting you upward. A green man with a stout cylinder in his hand smiles. Sweet dreams.
Mammoth
Under most circumstances, the escape of a cloned mammoth would be the lead in the evening newscast.
However, with the river flooding and filling with sharks, that was not the case.
“We should lead with the mammoth,” said the anchor, touching up her makeup in the mirror. “People don’t have to go into the water, but that rampaging mammoth might hurt someone out on the street.”
“It’s not exactly rampaging,” said the producer. “It’s just sitting there. We’ve got video of kids petting it.”
“What about the sharks?”
“Um, we can’t show the video of kids trying to pet them.”
How Do You Write 100 Word Stories #50
Many folk have walked up to me on the street and asked how do you tom write a 100 word story
Wow it’s been 100 hours since I started. Even with sleeping I have churned out 50 stories. Each vaguely about some aspect of writing. I have made sure to offer no usable advice, to be as confusing and obscure as possible. If you have been following along, shame on you go out side and play in the sun. For the poor souls who have listen I have an added treaty. The structure of this opus is actual Mahler’s Sixth Symphony using each letter in place of its corresponding note. Email me your address and I’ll send you the transformation key.
No reason for celery
I hated stuffing. Onions and celery are not my idea of a goodtime. Cubed Wonder bread drowned in Butterball bastings rates low on the list of edibles. I hated gravy. Lumpy slurry of corn starch commingling with the burn ooze of said Butterball to produce a mud brown viscous paste. The night Margret made thanksgiving dinner was the night my taste buds were born again. No Butterball, a free range bird. No onion or celery Walnuts garbanzos and an herb from Thailand. A demi-glace au poulet reduced from 12 Toms blended into in virgin olive oil whipped into a soufflé
How Do You Write 100 Word Stories #49
Many folk have found it much easer to bungi jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge than bring themselves to say how do you tom write a 100 word story
I got a new goal. A major university offers a course in late Marquette literature. To be up there with the big boys like George Sands. That would be grand. I tried making an offer to Marquette University but the Jesuits pointed out the nepotistic conflict. Oxford was in the running, but in the end Georgetown won. I put 6 million dollars in a blind account BAM I’m in the catalog. Oh its been many years since that first course they now have a Marquette chair at Georgetown and Oxford sends a guest lecturer to debate the merit of pictures.