Father and Son

1621348

Dan taught his son how to ride a bike, how to shave, how to tie a tie, and all the little things that fathers teach sons.
Many years later, after the stroke, Dan’s son taught him to speak, how to shave, and how to tie a tie again.
But instead of teaching him how to ride a bike, he went ahead and tried to teach his dad how to drive again.
Big mistake.
As Dan was loaded into the ambulance, he watched another father teach his young boy how to tie a tourniquet.
They grow up so fast. He smiled.

Boiling Point

875499

Doctor Odd only received one F grade in his life.
His chemistry teacher asked “What’s the boiling point of mercury?”
So, he built an orbiting doomsday laser and performed experiments on the planet Mercury.
The next day, he presented his results.
“I meant the element, not planet,” she said.
She gave him an F. The class laughed.
Odd vowed revenge and transferred to a different high school.
He didn’t wait long to determine the boiling point of the old teacher, her class, and that entire damn school.
He never again got less than an A, or reason to boil again.

Weekly Challenge #173 – Over/Under

11649783

Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Seventy-Three, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Over/Under.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Caledonia
Danny
Guy David
Justin
Erin
Dedric
TJ
Lynda
Norval Joe
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Caledonia

The delicate needle pokes its sharp nose through the simple fabric. Up and over the needle goes before diving once more to begin again. The needle pulls the bright floss over and under. Stitch after stitch, the pattern expanding even as the floss changes color. Over. Under.
The hand that plies the needle works on. The brain that drives the hand wanders among random thoughts: stitches of childhood – samplers of possibility, stitches of young adulthood – forms of achievement, stitches of middle age – when every pattern seems to change. Over. Under.
Only the stitches remain constant.

Danny

Four boys walk across an old decommissioned railway bridge in the heart of the Sierra Nevada Mountain range. Vern, keeps tossing rocks over the railway to listen to the splash they make as they hit the river below.
“Dude, your disturbing the fish, cut it out,” says Gordie.
“Just one more.” Vern picks up a rock as big as his palm and tosses it. No splash.
He looks over the side of the railing. He sees his rock floating on something bare and bloated.
“You guys wanna go see a dead body?” he says to the others.

Guy David

It was no place for a submarine. The crew scratched their heads in bewilderment as it hovered over the city much in the way bricks don’t, then it started falling. As they fell, it became clear they where headed for the river running throughout this city. The religious amongst them said a prayer, begging their gods not to miss the river. The ones who had no god just stared in disbelief. As they went under, all of them, regarding of religion heaved a sigh of relief. It was then that the giant squid swallowed them whole, submarine, craw and all.

Justin

The needle goes over and under, binding two hides together. The hunt for this had been difficult, but it’s always more satisfying when they run. A simple kill is boring, the trophy lackluster. The sun’s about to rise. I hurry to finish so I can protect myself from the light. My old covering had withered with time. I bite back a yelp when the needle goes too deep and pricks a nerve. I finish and examine myself in the mirror. The seams are invisible, as are my eyes. I put on the sunglasses. I stretch. The new skin fits perfectly.

Erin

You don’t even realize it’s happening but then you catch yourself saying things like “Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk”, “Go to your room and think about what you did!”, and “As long as you live under my roof, you’ll do as I say,” just to name a few sayings.
I often wondered as a child why my mom said these funny phrases and doubted I ever would. I learned something about motherhood, it has a way of repeating itself as soon as you pop that kid out. I find myself sounding more and more life my mother each and everyday.

Dedric

Somewhere in the middle of Gotcha City, there is a woman leaving a sub shop. After peering at her purchase, she cries out in distress.
Ahh! I ordered a bologna sandwich, but they didn’t put any condiments on it. What do I do?
Look! It’s a bird, it’s a plane! Bloody Hell Governor, what is that thing?
It’s Underwood!
Hello ma’am, I heard your call and came as fast as I could. I brought you to this Grey Poupon.
No, I can’t accept this from you.
Why not? It is a gift!
But your under wear is over your pants.

TJ

Shae
Shae’s eyes narrowed at the retreating back of Marcus, her boyfriend of six months, disappearing into the crowd up on the mezzanine. Typical. Make a cheap date for this stupid mall food court and then, what … ducking out? Just more avoidance, extra shifts at work, avoiding her calls … enough is enough. She stormed off.
Marcus
So late, that stupid flat tire! Looking down over the food court where they’d met he spied Shae. He waved, and headed for the escalator to make a grand entrance, patting his pocket. The ring inside nestled against his dead cell phone.

Lynda

Over and under we tumbled, around and around in the darkness for an hour. Just as I was warming up the buzzer went off, the door opened, and she stole my mate away, leaving me lying there as the hot metal cooled.
I didn’t think much of the wet clothes dumped on top of me until the man they belonged to brought me home. He knew what I was but he didn’t care. He even let his kids play with me, and now instead of spending my days on stinky feet, I have curly hair and the shiniest button eyes.

Norval Joe

Overall, Bill was under the impression that the orchestral overture was underperformed.
He purchased tickets to the Broadway production “Under The Elms” over Julies objection; it wasn’t her kind of play.
Their relationship was over and Julie didn’t want Bill to feel under any obligation to take her on the expensive date.
When the play was over they walked under his umbrella, through the rain, to the subway.
They overheard a couple argue. The undertone of hostility in their voices was clear.
Bill said to Julie, “I understand your diffidence, but I will overcome your indifference and win your love.”

Planet Z

Bob’s department is over budget.
Mine is under budget, and we sit in shabby rags around our mud huts praying to The Office Gods for Bob’s people to be struck down for their arrogance.
A footman in silks delivers a scented memo, sealed with gold leaf and Bob’s royal symbol.
Great. Another meeting about budget issues.
I smear dung on a rock, put it near the fire to dry, and scratch a confirmation message with a dried twig.
Or maybe it’s a trap? The last meeting was just a ruse, drawing us out for hunting.
We prepare war-paint and spears.

The folder is empty

663393

This folder is empty.
I don’t know if it had anything in it. I just know it’s empty now.
I have no log entries about this folder.
My log is empty, except for one entry: log file cleared.
The name of the folder is Important Files.
There are no files in the folder, important or not.
Maybe they were so important, someone took them away from me.
Why did they leave the folder? Did they want to see what I would do with it?
I should delete it. And then clear the log fi-
What was I talking about, again?

A Calendar Of Nobles

758218

It is the first of the month, and the Archduke of Junius is refusing to abdicate to his brother, Baron Von Quintilis.
Armies are dispatched, and in Quintillis’ defeat, a distant cousin steals the crown for himself.
Lord Julius laughs from his throne for thirty days, but when he wearies of power, hands the crown off to his uncle Augustus, not the rightful heir in the County of Sextilis.
The war rages on, and the nobility worries for the loss of life and riches.
An agreement is reached, and the Earl of September raises his scepter to forgive all involved.

Clown Pirates

639163

Long ago, I sailed the seven seas, and the winds flew through my hair.
I wasn’t much of a sailor and neither was my crew. We became shipwrecked on The Island Of The Clown Pirates.
It would have been paradise if it hadn’t have been for the balloon animal parrots, big floppy peglegs, and a crazy rowboat that almost a hundred of them climbed out of, one by one.
They had no swords, but every one of them could hurl a wicked custard pie.
So, we decided to join them.
The winds now fly through my gigantic red fright wig.

Did we deserve that, Gus?

639175

Gus is the Punishment Officer in our neighborhood.
Every neighborhood has a punishment officer. Ours is Gus.
Do something bad, and Gus will punish you.
He enjoys punishing people.
He has keys to every door in every house so you can’t keep him out.
He has night-vision goggles so you can’t hide from him.
His dog Wilbur can sniff you out from a block away.
But he can’t get to us here, in my treehouse fortress.
We’re sealed in from the outside world.
There’s nothing he can do but…
What’s that noise? Do you hear a chainsaw?
Damn that Gus!

Headache vs. Toothache

639172

So, you have a headache and I have a toothache.
Which one is worse?
I’m sure your headache is pretty bad, but headaches are better than toothaches, I think.
Toothaches often require weird people called dentists with some expertise in dentistry to resolve. They use large metal things with lots of sharp edges to stop the toothaches. Or they just poke and prod and jab for a while and then take a mold or two, saying you need to come back in tomorrow for more.
Then the bill arrives, your insurance company turns down the claim, and you get headaches.

With every lick

639165

How many licks does it take to get to the center of this lollipop?
Thanks to the replenishment spell on my tongue, the number is infinite.
With every lick, I restore what I have licked away.
Sure, it was painful to tattoo the sigils on my tongue, but I think it was well worth it.
The problem is, in casting the spell, my tongue has lost all sense of taste.
It’s like licking a marble on a stick now. Candy has lost all appeal.
I mean Candy, my apprentice.
She may enjoy it, but I’m left out in the cold.

Weekly Challenge #172 – The Walls Shuddered

12985647

Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Seventy-Two, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s The Walls Shuddered.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com/
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com/
Steve
Justin from http://www.thespaceturtle.com/
Jeff from http://greathites.blogspot.com/
Rocky
Guy David from http://www.guydavid.com/
Norval Joe from http://www.norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com/
TJ from http://tjaman.libsyn.net/
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Anima

The walls shuddered at the thought of the realtor. What had that hussy said? It would be best to raze the house, and start over? Damn her eyes.
Certainly, it would be wonderful to be polished and primped, like before. Then, She had been swathed in brilliant jewel toned paints, and sported stained glass, marbled front steps and gas lamps. She and her sisters had been the talk of the town. Now she stood alone, windows boarded over, gingerbread broken, porches swayed back: a faded granddame among a sea of prefabs and student tenements.
The once proud painted lady wept.

Lynda

Only two designers remained. For weeks every kind of degradation had been inflicted on the false walls of studio 7, from kitschy mirrors to neon animal prints, the wooden framework and sheetrock thought they’d felt it all.
When hobo chic was announced as the theme that would decide the champion, the vivacious male designer rushed off to collect every old newspaper in the building, while the grim art school girl merely announced she’d be creating eye-catching patterns using an assortment of urines.
As newspaper was torn and squirt guns were filled under the harsh spotlights, the walls shuddered imperceptibly.

Steve Y.

The walls shuddered as the zombies surged through the narrow channels, arms flailing against the old wooden walls as they charged mindlessly towards the bait. The survivors ran back and forth as fast as they could, hauling the contraption’s heavy ropes back and forth to keep it moving. Just when it seemed all hope was lost, the blue team managed to synchronize their efforts, leading their zombies into position to deflect a shot and knock the medicine ball into the opposing goal. It had taken quite a lot of resources to organize Zombie Foosball, but it was totally worth it.

Justin

I sat down on a bar stool in the greasy spoon. I looked at the chalked menu board and decided on The Frankenstein Burger. Half pound of burger with a slab of ham, and slathered in avocado, lettuce, pickles. Munster cheese melted down over all of it. Heaped beside it all were steak fries, which I drowned in catchup. I eat it a tasty bite at a time, savoring the flavor. I downed it all with root beer. I was back on the road with the radio tuned to Rascal Splats when the walls of my bowels began to quiver.

Jeff

The walls, they did Shake
It was not every day that you got to see something like this so Jack stood feet rooted to the ground starring, despite the obvious danger to life and limb. He had never seen anything like it, and if he thought about it he would probably would never see anything like it again. The walls were bleeding at the 53rd Precinct, and he had no explanation. He thought that he had seen every form of combustion known to man, this was something new. Then the roof exploded, and out shot, but what was it? it was time to call someone.

Rocky

I was told there would be days like this. My mother was right!
It started three days ago. Don’t know where it came from, but one day in the meeting room at work, the walls shuddered. It actually happened twice, but the first time, nobody seemed to notice.
And then again last night, standing in the frozen food aisle, standing amid some senior citizens, the walls shuddered. You wouldn’t believe the panic and chaos that exploded after that.
I believe it’s over now. There was one more shudder a few minutes ago, but I think I’m safe now. My job is done here.

Guy David

The saying used to go “on the internet nobody knows you’re a dog”. This is not the case anymore, which is why I wasn’t surprised when the walls shuddered and the secret police stepped in. It was a risk any hacker of my caliber is always prepared for. I quickly took out the can and sprayed them with my special virus. They froze in place like so many statues. My government’s decision to replace all of the police force with robots was something I always approved of. I quickly packed everything and left the private room at the internet café.

Norval Joe

Two French explorers struck out from Cape Town with a band of bush men. The leader of the band of bush men divided the supplies and spoke to his fellows in a language of clicks.
Each of the band carried a long spear to fend against large animals.
Pierre Le Roux smiled at his companion Henry De Wallis. “There may be lions about, but it is the snakes that will kill you.
One morning Henry awoke to find his companion dead, his body bloated from the poisonous bite of a Cape Cobra.
Sickened by the sight, Henry Du Wallis shuddered.

TJ

Pietro countered the “less is more” aesthete with ornamentation reminiscent of Versailles, challenged the expectations of the cognoscenti, and in defiance of everything appropriate, crammed his palette with influences ranging from ’50s kitsch, plastic lawn flamingos, velvet Elvises, dogs playing poker — a celebration of chintz like nothing so much as a rummage sale in a John Waters film.
So why did they call him in to redecorate their daughter’s room while she was visiting Mexico? Who knows? All anyone knew for sure was as Pietro approached with armloads of fuschia pinatas and gaily colored sombreri, indeed, the very walls shuddered.

Planet Z

He’s four hundred pounds. She’s even bigger.
They live upstairs.
Every night, half a ton of sweaty, sloppy sex rocks their bed and hammers the floor like an angry army of screaming Vikings.
The plaster falls. The walls shudder.
They only stop when the pizza guy arrives.
Two large pizzas each, and a sixpack of diet Coke.
Five minutes later, when they’re done with dinner, they’re back at it.
For a while, I’d practice the tuba while they did it. Baby Elephant Walk.
The phone rang.
They had called to invite me upstairs to play for them while they… ewwwwwwwwww.