Author: R.

Welcome to the ninetieth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Caleb Bullen.
It’s Looking Back On 2008
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

What were the best stories of Weekly Challenge #90?
	Planet Z
	Guy David from Sixteenth
	Tom from Footnote
	Terry the Old Coot
	Robert
	Elisson from blog d’Elisson
	JD from Writing.com
	Kelly Burt from Come Let Me Whisper
	Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

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PLANET Z

And now, a moment with Rabbi Crapman.
You wants to know about 2008? Oy gevalt, That’s a long ways back.
Let me check the Torah.
And… there. 2008.
Jebediah begat Schlomo.
Sylvia begat Nebuchadneezer.
Hymie begat David.
There was a lot of begatting back them. Horny little Jew bastards.
Ah Queen Sharon the Second begat Rufus Cleveland Washington.
Had a taste for dark meat. Couldn’t keep her hands off the schwartzer help.
Miracles. There was a bunch of miracles, too. All sorts of miracles, miracles here and miracles there. Oy gevalt, the miracles.
That’s 2008. That’ll be ten shekels, kid.

GUY DAVID

I remember back in the days, 2008, that’s when the podcaster riots started, angry podcasters going into the streets to protest their working conditions, being stuffed into dungy old basements, being constantly persecuted by the RIAA storm troops and suffering the ridicule of the bad old media, they just wouldn’t take this anymore, they just went into the streets burning ipods and brasiers and shouting obscenities, oh those where the day.
What do you mean that’s not how it happened? You mean there where no protesters on the streets? No obscene words and burning brasiers and stuff? Oh, those wimps.

TOM

Jim with only moments left till it becomes 2009 lets look back on the wacky world that was 2008 Right you are Dan, there was the merger of the Adam Curry”s Podshow and Alt Dot Chicken to create Curry Chicken. And that surprise move by President ObombA when he made Laurence Simon his press secretary. That was one fun week. What”s Laurence doing now Jim. I think it was 10 to 20 Dan. But you have to agree the top story of the years was Martini Club Industries CEO Caleb Bullen”s win of the noble prize in chemistry for flubber.

TERRY THE OLD COOT

Looking back on 2008, as Old Man Time had in so many previous years,
Saw it was like a tree, seedling at first, then throughout the year, growing tall and straight.
His gaze passing over each seasons,
First, spring, white and grey turning into green and fresh, a mighty start.
Next summer, strong, sunny, warmth, reaching for the sky, at its pinnacle.
Fall, the first sign of age, but with vibrant colors, still slowly growing .
Sadly, winter, the bleak snow and cold has stopped its growth.
With a single stroke, Old Man Time swings his sickle to clear away the tree for the next.

ROBERT

Oh how the time has flied
seems like it was just 2007 but we’re looking back on to 2008.
2008 was just a blink
it seems that i can’t remember a thing
i sit and sit trying to think, yet nothing
OH oh wait, perhaps i should look back on what just happened, 2007?
well, lets see, hum hmmmm looks like i can’t remember this either?
i guess i’m losing my “great” memory
january snow
february cold
march LION
april rain
may sleep
june summer
july independence
august Hot
september 5 Years
october BOO
november cold
december writing
THANK GOD!

ELISSON

Tell you about 2008? Sure I can, Jimmy. That was the year everything
changed.
Kinda hard to imagine that, way back then, everybody was worried about
somethin” called “Global Warming.” And some business called
“Islamofascism.” Be honest with ya, I was too little to remember what
that stuff was supposed to be.
Them was crazy times. We used to ride around in “cars,” and get food
from a big ol” building. Right off the shelf! Naw, I ain”t bullshittin” ya!
But all that stuff went away in 2008, when the Space Rock landed smack
dab on a place called “Mecca.”

JD

2008 was the year that we elected the best president that these United States has ever had in our history.
2008 was the year that the stock market shot through the roof and the Dow broke 15000.
2008 was the year that the alternative fuel automobiles replaced gasoline powered automobiles.
2008 was the year that we discovered that there was no global warming or global cooling.
2008 was the year that every movie and television program was worth watching.
2008 was the year that I discovered that I was Superman and could fly.
Now, how about that bridge in Brooklyn.

KELLY

“Why are you going down this road again?” groaned Jenny. Jenny was eleven and not even around in 2008. Why should she care about the past? “This is so boring,” she complained again.
Jenny’s grandmother smiled before replying. “Because it’s important to me, and that should be enough. Besides, I thought you would be pleased that I can remember anything–since I’m old.” Jenny knew she was wrong and was a little disappointed in herself. “Looking back on 2008 always brings me happiness. If you remember, that was the year I gave life to your mother,” reminded Jenny’s patient grandmother.
Thanks, Kelly

CALEB

We all thought the election was going to be such a big deal. We all thought the Olympics were going to be such a big deal. Who knew that one little invention could have taken all the oxygen from those big stories?
In 2008 The Bullshit Engine finally found a use for political speeches, media commentators, preachers and all the other bullshit that got slung at us all the time. Now you can run your car, your electricity, everything really on bullshit. And it”s totally environmentally friendly” well”. Limbaugh”s drug habit isn”t but his bullshit is like sweet light crude.

Welcome to the eighty-ninth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Hedgie Till.
It’s Nutcracker
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

What were the best stories of Weekly Challenge #89?
	Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club
	Tom from Footnote
	Terry from The Old Coot Cast
	Justin and his Random Thoughts
	JD White
	Yxes from Podmafia
	Houston Keys from Tater Tots For The Masses
	Guy David the Night Guy
	Planet Z
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

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CALEB

Who called you a sissy? Let me tell you back when your grandfather was young, John Nutcracker Fuzzarelli ran this town. They called him Nutcracker because he loved Tchaikovsky. So much so that he used the protection money he made to build a theatre, the drug money to buy the best orchestra in the country, and the prostitution money started the greatest ballet troupe around. So just remember it was a love of classical music that made this town and if those bullies make fun of you again, use your flute case to break their fucking kneecaps that�ll teach em.

TOM

First position four position second position Plie Fouett� jet� Allegro Grand jet�. He soared across the stage gaining height in the face of the faltering god of gravity. He was nearing Nijinsky. He was besting Baryshnikov. Clara�s month dropped open. The Rat King spun around backwards. The Flowers, Russians and Chinese dancers just stood transfixed. Only Drosselmeyer smiled for it was he who had been supplying the steroids to the Nutcracker. The street brand was affectionately called Bull Ball Boost. Unfortunately the leap landed him on top to the 2 bassoon. Not player the instrument. Boy that was a nutcracker.

TERRY

Company Holiday Parties are so much fun.
As I stood, chatting, Cindy Lou entered the room.
She was tall, thin, and quite beautiful.
Her gown was excitingly different from the pant suits she normally wore.
The front of it was low cut and showed off her ample cleavage,
and her long legs seemed to go on forever under the short skirt.
I hurriedly made my way through the crowd to her.
Smiling, she raised her arms for a hug.
I seized my chance and embraced her, pressing her breasts firmly against my chest.
Just as swiftly, her knee shot up between my legs.
yeooowwww..
Cindy Lou was a real Nutcracker

JUSTIN

Most people think nutcrackers are harmless. Trust me, they aren�t.
One day while I was on vacation in New York I was walking through Little Italy and saw a guy called Violent Vinny get whacked. I was the only one around so they grabbed me and encouraged me to act like I saw nothing.
Apparently they weren�t convinced that I�d not talk and felt like they needed to give me a dose of what I�d face if I ever were to go to the cops.
That�s when they got out the nutcracker and left me with this high pitched voice.

JD

The sugar plum fairies froze as big Bill entered the bar.
It was the night before Christmas and everyone knew what the big man was like this time of year.
He had not received a gift in his whole miserable life.
He, without fail, sent letters to Santa.
Registered letters!
He had even once been nice for 364 days.
Big Bill was just the sort of man that was not ever, and I mean never, going to receive a visit from Santa.
The fairies looked down into their drinks as Big Bill strode the bar with the nutcracker held ready.

YXES

He looked like a soldier, standing up so tall and straight
Although he never smiled, he was always looking at some far distant target.
My favorite thing to do with him was to watch him yawn, a big, impossible opening of his mouth,
and then I’d wait to hear a very peculiar crunching sound, not unlike a fabricated cough.
Then, in all the staunch dignity that he could muster, he’d spit out the shell of a walnut, or pecan
or sometimes even an almond, leaving the meat for me and my siblings to snack on.
He was my favorite Nutcracker.

HOUSTON

The A-Team was trapped with only a few Frankie Goes to Hollywood
T-shirts and a large bag of walnuts.
Hannibal ordered Face and Murdoch to crack the walnuts so they could
create a nut based bomb.
They tried using Murdoch’s head, but that didn’t work so well.
Next, Face tried to use his teeth, but his caps kept popping off.
Finally B.A. stepped up. “Stop with all the jibber-jabber! Hand me
those walnuts!”
Placing the walnuts between his well defined gluteus muscles he began
to squeeze until the walnut gave way.
“I pity the fool that tells anyone about this!”

GUY

The nutcracker bird was sitting on a high brunch overlooking the kingdom. The king was standing bellow the apricot tree shouting orders. �Where is my nutcracker? I want to eat some nuts!� he shouted. The bird, hearing the king and wanting to shut him up, did the only thing it could do and dropped some crap on him. �Off with the bird’s head� shouted the king quite angrily, �and do it quick. I’ve got a Tchaikovsky concert to catch. They are playing The Nutcracker Suite.� The bird laughed a little birdie laugh and flew away, as birds would often do.

PLANET Z

I like going to see The Nutcracker every year, but this year I was busy, so I didn’t get to the ballet until after Christmas.
Wow, do those dancers phone it in once the holiday’s passed.
Clara barely acknowledges the gift, which were blow-up sex dolls, a prank by the propmaster.
The Sugar Plum Fairy was chainsmoking while limply dancing on a runny egg yolk of a moon.
The Russian dancers have long since defected, replaced with any homeless willing to dress up in Soviet Army Surplus for ten bucks and a sandwich.
Somewhere, Tchaikovsky is spinning in his grave.
Put a tutu on him, baby!