Category: Weekly Challenge

Weekly Challenge #964 – Banana Split

The next topic is Classical music

RICHARD

Rocky’s
Years ago, whenever we had something to celebrate at work, whether a birthday, retirement or any other excuse we could concoct for having a bit of a get-together, there was one go-to place we’d always book for a night out.
An ‘American diner’: a bit of a novelty before the days of ubiquitous burger chains. And it was awesome!
From the plastic tablecloths, to the black and white movie photos on the walls; the top-notch burgers and Red Stripe beer.
Then there was their signature dessert – A banana split, for two.
I always had one to myself!

LIZZIE

“A banana split, please.”
The two witches looked at each other, puzzled.
“We don’t have banana splits.”
“What do you have?”
“We have the Death Cap.”
The customer laughed.
“Autumn Skullcap.”
The customer laughed again.
“And the Destroying Angels special.”
“Fascinating! OK, let’s have the special then.”
“Are you sure?”
The customer nodded.
“I feel adventurous!”
They prepared the potion and watched him trot off, sipping from his bottle of Destroying Angels.
“Did we tell him the mushrooms were poisonous?”
“I don’t think we did and I don’t think he read the sign.”
“We can’t fight stupid, can we?”
“Nope.”

SERENDIPIDY

Take one banana. Peel, and slice lengthways, between which, place three scoops of your favourite ice-cream, top with whipped cream, your sauce of choice, and any toppings you fancy.
Next, force the whole thing, lengthways, down the throat of your victim. Repeat with as many additional bananas required until the recipient chokes to death.
It can get messy, but I think if you’re going to despatch someone, the least you can do is attempt to make it a fairly pleasurable experience.
No good for diabetics though.
In which case, I suggest you substitute the banana splits for hot dogs.

NORVAL JOE

When Sabrina’s sobs had ended, Billbert’s mother helped her up. “We need to get you some clothes.” She amped up her enthusiasm. “We can go to the mall, and while we’re there we can go to Farrell’s and get a banna split.”
As they got close to town, Billbert said, “I’m not really into shopping for girl’s clothes. Would you let me out here?”
Sabrina looked out the window when they pulled over. “This is Mindi’s house.”
Billbert scowled. “She calls herself Mandy, and her dad has been acting so weird, I need to check to see if she’s okay.”

TOM

Midwest Confections

Start with any topic of conversation, at some point a reference to Chicago will pop-up. Take this week’s topic Banana Split. Though it was created in Latrobe it took the drug stores giant Walgreens to put it on the National map. I actually had a Split at Walgreen’s long aluminum dinning counter. The glass dessert boat had Walgreens embossed in the bottom. My best memories of the city are wrapped in childhood confections. Cherries were redder, sweeter and plumper. Butterscotch that could drop a diabetic from 40 yards. A crust of frozen chocolate paper thin. Whipped-cream a foam of sugar

PLANET Z

Midwest Confections

Start with any topic of conversation, at some point a reference to Chicago will pop-up. Take this week’s topic Banana Split. Though it was created in Latrobe it took the drug stores giant Walgreens to put it on the National map. I actually had a Split at Walgreen’s long aluminum dinning counter. The glass dessert boat had Walgreens embossed in the bottom. My best memories of the city are wrapped in childhood confections. Cherries were redder, sweeter and plumper. Butterscotch that could drop a diabetic from 40 yards. A crust of frozen chocolate paper thin. Whipped-cream a foam of sugar

Weekly Challenge #963 – Finding

The next topic is Banana split

RICHARD

Finding myself
I quit my job, sold up, bought a backpack, then disappeared for six years.
At the time, life was crap and – according to the self-help books I’d read – the key to finding direction in life was immersing oneself in other cultures, seeking meaning through self-discovery.
Among other things, I picked tomatoes in Spain, stayed in a Japanese monastery, bathed in the Ganges and went walkabout in the Australian outback.
I discovered I was susceptible to sunburn, got robbed in Manilla and contracted bilharzia from my river exploits… But, I learned one very valuable lesson.
Self-help books suck.

SERENDIPIDY

Good luck with finding this body!
I’ve given it special treatment… chopped up into bite-sized morsels, all strategically scattered in remote locations; little treats for bears, wolves and other scavengers.
As for the skull and the larger bones, those have all been shredded into splinters, and dumped in rivers, and the ocean.
It was surprisingly easy to do, and although a little messy, that was only to be expected.
You see, I used my shiny, new chainsaw to get the job done.
Quick, efficient, and extremely effective for the task at hand.
I knew it would come in handy!

TOM

Public Service

Yesterday, I was appointed to my Seventh Grand Jury. I do grand jury really well. I’m called up went thing inside the black box go somewhat off the rails. Bit like herding cats. You might not know but there are grand jury which are not criminal. My Jury looks into matters of county level governance. We interview county officers, locate procedure which need corrections. Basically, we file a final report with numbers of recommendations. All recommendations are supported by multiple findings. Hardest part of my job is explaining the different between facts and findings to jurors at larger. Not easy.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert carried a box of magical items to the car. Finding that he was alone, he went back to the cabin. Sabrina sat on the edge of the porch and his mother next to her, her arm around the girl’s shoulders.
Sabrina sobbed heavily.
Clueless, Billbert asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Son,” his mother said, shaking her head. “Think about it. This was Sabrina’s home. And this is where she was shot and her grandmother was killed. We probably shouldn’t have come here so soon.”
Billbert sat next to Sabrina. With a shuddering sigh, she lay her head on his shoulder.

LIZZIE

The man in the cave wanted to be left alone. However, when they spotted him wandering about, they thought it was a great finding. A real caveman. Alive. Yes! Interviews, a book, a TV series, a movie, the money stacking up in their bank accounts. Did they think about the man in the cave? Nope. So, the man in the cave decided to treat them as he would any other animal. No, he didn’t eat them. He just hung them upside down from a tree and watched. It was highly entertaining. Well, what a shame they didn’t last long.

PLANET Z

I was never any good with Rubiks Cubes.
Even with a book, I could never solve them.
Some people would peel off the stickers and rearrange them to solve the cube.
I used a flathead screwdriver to pry out the moving cube pieces and arrange them correctly.
But having all six sides solved was boring.
I twisted them up to make X patterns on each face.
That was more interesting looking.
Then I peeled off the stickers so every side was black.
Every turn was the right one.
Then I threw the dumb thing out.
Like so many people did.

Weekly Challenge #962 – PICK TWO Lost in translation, Incapable, Wish, Chainsaw, Too long, Full of

The next topic is Finding

KINGLESTAT

Last Wish

It was a beautiful day. One of those days you wish you had nothing to do. Sunny, but with the right amount of clouds. Just take a walk on the beach. Perhaps with a beautiful babe on your arm. Or two. A nice bottle of wine. And spend it there watching the seagulls frolic. But he came, interrupting my reverie. “About this last wish?” he seemed harassed, as if he had something urgent to do. I told him. In detail. Trying to capture the images I had seen in my mind. “This is taking too long.” “Platoon?” “Take aim!” “Fire!”

NORVAL JOE

The locked cabinet was full of mysterious objects. There were no shrunken heads or pentagram amulets, but there were figurines of cryptic creatures and talismans with arcane symbols.
Knowing he was incapable of opening the curio, Billbert said, “I wish I knew someone with magic who could open this thing.”
Both Mrs.Wienerheimer and Sabrina stared at him blankly.
Sabrina put her hand on the cabinet and there was an audible click. “When I told you I’m a witch, was something lost in the translation?”
His mother smiled patiently. “Be a dear, Billbert, and get the cardboard boxes from the car.”

TOM

Incapable Wish With grateful thanks to Babylon Five

Victoria Van Beinghem Shushburge Ausstaylor Holezinvice was the 15th Matetron Supreme only six years old. One day she was wandering in the imperial gardens when she came upon a rose brush. “Why aren’t flowers,” she asked. The general accompanying her replied “They will bloom in a few days.” Victoria quipped, “Have a guarded posted to protect the blossoms.” The general clicked his heels “Your wish is law my queen.” A guard was posed. Soon the child lost interest, became old and died. The court remained incapable of countermanding that wish. So, a solider still stands guard a 1000 years later.

LIZZIE

The chainsaw hanging behind the door didn’t go too well with the sweet little quote on the wall. “After all this time. Always.” After all this time? Always? That could mean something completely different. He had to go. What are you doing, she asked. Nothing, nothing, just looking for my shoes. Leaving? Well, I… He tapped his watch. Where was the damn door, he thought. She turned around to grab something and to his horror… Is this what you’re looking for? He always thought the sound of church bells would be the last thing he would hear. Nope, it wasn’t.

SERENDIPIDY

Admit it, you knew I was going to pick ‘chainsaw’.
You’re thinking that a prompt like that is a gift to someone like me, obsessed with blood, guts and gore, and pretty much incapable of writing anything that doesn’t involve torture, decapitation, murder or cannibalism.
Well, sorry for being so predictable.
Not that I care: That’s how I write, and I can’t see it changing any time soon. If you don’t like it, then just move on to somebody else’s story.
However, nobody dies on this occasion.
But, trust me, I’ll be putting that chainsaw to use in the future!

RICHARD

Wishful thinking
I’ll admit I felt a bit foolish when I found the lamp, but I had to give it a quick rub, just to see.
Remarkably, it worked, and a huge genie suddenly appeared, bowed and spoke to me in a deep, rumbling voice.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t understand a word. I assumed he was speaking Arabic, offering me the usual obligatory wish.
But, no biggy. I fished out my phone, and typed ‘Make me a multi-millionaire’ into Google translate.
There was a poof of smoke.
And I found myself locked up in an asylum.
Guess something was lost in translation.

PLANET Z

Back in third grade, I knew this kid who asked Santa for a chainsaw.
That was back when it was okay for Santa Claus to show up in schools, before all this politically correct and woke nonsense took over.
Every year, the kid asked for a chainsaw, but he never got it.
First grade, second grade, third grade.
No chain saw.
I moved in the spring of third grade, so I have no idea if he ever got the chainsaw.
I read the newspaper from there now and then to see if his name pops up.
Perhaps he moved too?

Weekly Challenge #961 – Wasp

The next topic is PICK TWO Lost in translation, Incapable, Wish, Chainsaw, Too long, Full of

NORVAL JOE

When they arrived at Buhmilda’s cabin, the only thing moving was a wasp buzzing around under the eves. All the residents of the meadow and their campers and vans were gone.
Entering the cabin, they found it completely empty. All the furniture, food, and even Sabrina’s clothes were missing.
The only thing remaining was a dusty curio against the far wall.
Billbert peered through the cracked glass. “There’s lots of cool stuff in here. I’m surprised no one took any of it.”
Bitterly, Sabrina said, “They would have if they could have. You need real magic to open this cabinet.”

TOM

Not our kind, dear

I was born a poor catholic kid. My daddy was bummed he couldn’t be in the klan. I was bummed I couldn’t be a Mason. Screw that Knight’s of Columbus shit. Despite growing up in Polish, Irish, Italian, Bavarian neighborhood I never once dated a catholic girl. Major up-hill battle there. Basic I went out with Wasp Women, Job’s daughters, and later in life Junior Leaguers. That’s a story of pain and destruction. Now for all you kids out there a wasp is far from being a bug, they’re the folk still running the show in America. White Anglo-Saxon Protestants.

LIZZIE

The shovel was crap. The ground was too hard. The body was, let’s say, unbendable. And no one volunteered to help. Then, there was the wasp. He tried to kill it, but he kept hitting the body, adding cuts to it. It really annoyed him that the coroner would think this guy had been tortured with a shovel. He had a reputation to protect. So, he paid some low level dude who drove by to dig the hole and dumped the two in it. Not his neatest work but even a hitman has a bad day every now and then.

SERENDIPIDY

It was carnage. Bodies everywhere – twenty kids, two teachers and the bus driver. A few fatalities, and many grievously injured.
The driver was dead. That pleased me.
I’d always hated that driver, he’d make snide remarks to me when I used to catch the bus to school, and I’d dread every journey, with him constantly leering at me in his rear view mirror.
I’d vowed then to get my own back. And when I spotted his epi-pen peeking from the top of his pocket, I knew exactly what I was going to do.
The hardest part, was catching the wasp!

RICHARD

– ​Sweet –
“I really don’t know why they’re not producing”
Josh was new to the hobby, and if I’m honest, he wasn’t the brightest.
To be fair to him though, he was trying his best, and had followed my instructions to the letter, so I found it somewhat surprising that even with all my advice, he wasn’t seeing results.
“Let me take a look at your setup”, I offered, and we headed outdoors.
Everything looked OK, then I took a closer look.
I jumped back in alarm.
“Well, I know why they’re not producing honey”, I said, batting away an attacking wasp.

KingLestat71

The Detective

I had been nursing my beer for hours. Watching her. Studying her. She was bold. She also fit in. Everybody laughed with her. But certainly stubborn. They told her to stop drinking. But she kept dunking them in. She was also aggressive. One guy that approached whispering something to her? She slapped him so hard my hand was stinging. But when she and her four friends decided to sing and dance, they were up all together. She, like the queen wasp. They like her helper wasps. Another disgusted look from the barman, and I was out. Another day done.

PLANET Z

When you move into a house, there’s things you can plan for and there’s things that plan for you.
No point in getting all worked up. Just make a list and deal with it.
There was a wasp nest along the gutter of the house.
And a few more on the edges of the garage door.
I bought some spray from Walmart and sprayed them all.
Nothing flew out, so I figured they were old nests, long abandoned.
I got a pole and knocked them down.
Maybe they’ll be back. Maybe they won’t.
Until then, I’ll be ready for them.

Weekly Challenge #960 – Icing on the cake

The next topic is Wasp

DOM

The Game

I was sweating. Already tired after playing for over eighty minutes. It wasn’t helping that the coach and my teammates kept screaming insults at me. What about my self-esteem? Idiots. True, I had missed three chances. I had managed to put one in. Pure luck. But it’s why I was still on. Playing. Finally! There was the ball I was waiting for. Gerald had drilled a powerful cross, I escaped my marker and jumped. I saw the keeper react, so I aimed low to the left. Goal! Winning is fantastic. But beating your rival? It’s icing on the cake.

NORVAL JOE

The icing on the cake came the next morning when Billbert’s mother woke them up. He heard his mother’s voice and realized she stood at his feet with a perfect view of Sabrina and him. Sabrina lay almost on top of him, face down, her chin tucked over his right shoulder, her arm and chest across his and her right knee between his thighs.
Billbert cleared his throat, rousing Sabrina. “She couldn’t sleep and wanted to hold my hand.”
Humorless, his mother said, “Right. I think we need to go to her place and pick up some of her clothes.”

SERENDIPIDY

They found me under a table, surrounded by crumbled fruit cake, greedily stuffing what remained of the icing on the cake into my mouth.
It was the only bit I liked – marzipan and icing – the cake itself was gross.
My stepmother was horrified. I’d destroyed the wedding cake, and ruined the happiest day of her life.
I didn’t care. I hated her, hated weddings and hated the stupid dress she’d made me wear.
But, I loved icing. Although, it really didn’t like me.
As the bride found out shortly after, when I vomited it back out, all over her dress!

TOM

much nuts and blots execution. The size of the event or the location did not matter. When L. X. Marthers contacted Bruce to plan his daughter’s 16th birthday party, he had only one request: Over the top. At first Bruce turned the gig down. That was until Mama Marthers whispered in his ear. He said, “That would be doable and that would truly be the icing on the cake metaphorically speaking. Taylor Swift bursting out of cake. Jaw dropping moment.

RICHARD

Happy Birthday!
Pastry chef… Don’t be fooled by the title, more like a second rate cook. But that’s what they called the dozen of us on the production line, turning out hundreds of cakes a day for the mass market.
I hated the job, more than that, I hated my boss. A mean guy who cared nothing for his staff.
Then one day, I was told to make an extra special cake for the boss’ birthday, ‘and don’t you dare screw it up!’
I made it extra special, all right.
With my own special ‘icing’ on the cake.
Know what I mean?

LIZZIE

I bought a ticket. It didn’t matter where to. I got on the train and closed my eyes. Things would get better. There was a commotion on the platform. Voices shouting, people rushing. When they called out my name, I sank in my seat. But why would I hide? I was a grown woman. I could go anywhere I wanted. Are you this person? Yes. Come with us. Why? And then I knew. She had called the cops on me. My daughter is missing… Oh, I’m so worried. Yes, she wanted me back. The icing on her sadistic little cake.

PLANET Z

At the beginning of the school year, Mr. Craig would challenge students to raise money for an end-of-year school trip to somewhere fun.
The class would hold bake sales and car washes, handing Mr. Craig the proceeds.
At the end of the year, Mr. Craig would say the class fell short of their goal, and would pocket the money.
This went on for years, until one class warned the next class about Mr. Craig.
During one of the car washes, Mr. Craig drove up and handed over his keys.
The kids covered the car with shaving cream, inside and out.

Weekly Challenge #959 – Package

The next topic is Icing on the cake

SERENDIPIDY

I offer a range of services, from the basic ‘catch and despatch’, right through to my ‘Executive Gold’ package.
I know you might be tempted to take the cheaper options but, trust me, gold is definitely the way to go.
It’s fully inclusive: The initial execution of the subject, disposal of the body, and clean-up of the scene. Nothing to worry about; no loose ends for you to tie-up, and complete peace of mind.
Not forgetting the optional extras! But, we can discuss those once you’ve paid your deposit.
Half in cash, up front. The balance on completion.

TOM

Something New under the sun.

Historians label epoch of human development by the central material that advanced them from the previous one. Stone age Iron age Bronze age Steel age Silicon age through the Diamond age. But sometime progress ends up in the ditch. In 2337 all the fossil fuels were gone and I mean the tree to. A thick layer in the atmosphere made Solar less then optimal. People power held everything together. To get goods and products any where in the world. It was done with feet and hands, many feet and many hands. We romantically refer to this time as the Pack-age.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert got out of bed, helped Sabrina up and dragged her downstairs. In the family room he cleared some pillows, blankets, and an unopened Amazon package off the couch.
He pointed.”You can sit here.”
When she did, he sat next to her, pushed a button and raised their feet.
“Now, you can hold my hand, if you want, and there won’t be any accidents.”
“Accidents?” She asked, taking his hand and cuddling up to him, one of her squishy bits pressing against his ribs.
Billbert Froze. He thought Sabrina was only going to hold his hand. What would Linoliamanda think?

RICHARD

On its way
It’s on its way… apparently.
The tracker said, my package would arrive by Wednesday. That was two days ago, and still no delivery.
Now the website says it’ll arrive today, between ten forty-two AM and ten forty-two PM. Great, that’s only potentially twelve hours I’ll have to hang around indoors, scared to take trips to the bathroom in case I miss the damn thing arriving.
Why on earth can’t they be more precise?
I mean, they can land a probe on a comet with pinpoint accuracy, within a tiny time frame.
Why so hard, for a simple parcel?

LIZZIE

What do you do? I fight demons.
Whose? Mine and hers.
Why? Because her demons feed off of mine. Her demons eat me alive and become stronger.
Silence.
When did this start? Since the beginning, but I only noticed it a few years ago. I didn’t know I had demons. I didn’t know she had demons. I certainly didn’t know I would have to fight.
Silence.
Is that from a film? No.
Because I sent you a package with a bunch of films. It’s not from a film.
Have you been sleeping? No.
Silence.
Are you winning the fight? No.

PLANET Z

I like birds and bird feeders, so I bought a bird feeder and a freestanding hook to hang it from.
Squirrels kept spilling the bird seed all over the ground.
So I bought a squirrel-proof bird feeder, and the squirrels still spilled the seed everywhere.
I kept buying different bird feeders, and squirrels kept making messes.
Package after package arrived, all disappointing.
A friend suggested I get a baffle for the hook to keep squirrels off of the pole, and it worked.
No more squirrels making a mess.
And no more birds, because it’s winter, and they’ve all flown south.

Weekly Challenge #958 – Unsafe

The next topic is Package

LIZZIE

It was dark. The swamp was weird. It bubbled, for some mysterious reason. And she had to step into it to prove herself, they said, to be part of the gang. The whole thing was pathetic, of course. But you’ll only be cool at school if the cool kids accept you. So, the swamp it was. Good thing she had a flashlight. She pointed at the others just to make sure they were still there. And it took exactly 0.4 seconds for the thing to snack on them. They were gone. Well, guess I’m the coolest kid now, she thought.It was dark. The swamp was weird. It bubbled, for some mysterious reason. And she had to step into it to prove herself, they said, to be part of the gang. The whole thing was pathetic, of course. But you’ll only be cool at school if the cool kids accept you. So, the swamp it was. Good thing she had a flashlight. She pointed at the others just to make sure they were still there. And it took exactly 0.4 seconds for the thing to snack on them. They were gone. Well, guess I’m the coolest kid now, she thought.

RICHARD

– ​NSFW –
The email was sent by a vague acquaintance, ‘Thought you might like to see these’ was the subject line.
I had my doubts. It was full of links to dubiously named websites, and the slightly ominous preface, ‘Warning: Not safe for work’.
Since he’d sent it to my work email, and there was no way I was going to forward it to my personal address, I reckoned I’d take a chance.
I waited for a quiet moment, then clicked a few – they all seemed broken.
Like work’s IT system.
Wrecked, by a virus, from stupidly clicking an email link.

TOM

Bottle Red Bottle White

Lenny took a sit at the back of the bar. As his saintly mother would say “with your back to the wall.” He had clear sight of the door as he ate his linguine. When the waiter moved on his right side he keep him in his peripheral vision. In the world Lenny lived being unsafe meant being un-alive. He kept sufficient fire power under his regular table. The one with hinged steel plate. He might have been a wise guy but as the bullets from the bathroom behind him hit in the back the linguine turned a bit redder.

SERENDIPIDY

My lawyer maintained my conviction was unsafe.
The villagers disagreed.
The evidence was crystal clear, they argued. I owned a black cat, I had a weird birthmark, and a third nipple… Probably.
Nobody was willing to actually check that out.
Then there were the failing crops that had blighted the village since my arrival, and the fact that I never went to church.
Mostly circumstantial evidence, protested my lawyer, and he did his job well. My conviction was overturned, and I was free.
Unfortunately for him, the villagers were right. And they knew it.
Now he’s the one who’s unsafe!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert woke in the dark. He lay on his back and his arm hung off the side of the bed. His hand rested on something soft and warm that rose and fell in a slow steady rhythm. When he poked it with his finger, it was squishy.
“Sabrina!” Billbert shouted as he sat up. “What are you doing in here? Did you feel unsafe?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” She looked up at him. “I thought if I held your hand, I could relax. I guess I fell asleep.”
“I guess you did,” Billbert mumbled. “That wasn’t your hand I was holding.”

PLANET Z

Ikea says you should bolt the dresser to the wall to keep it from tipping over.
Otherwise, a kid could open the top drawers and have the thing crush them.
So, I did.
And the dresser has yet to tip over.
Even when a tornado struck the neighborhood and everything was destroyed, the dresser was still standing.
“It’s a miracle,” said my wife.
I took a photo of the thing and sent it to Ikea.
“Here, take one of me,” I said, handing my phone to my wife.
That’s when the damned thing tipped over and crushed me to death.

Weekly Challenge #957 – PICK TWO Role model, Beep, Curious, No annual contract, Conference, Ballet

The next topic is Unsafe

TOM

Commissar’s Choice

It was the heady days after the revolution. All traditional preforming arts were deemed counter-revolutionary. No more Swan Lake. No more Nutcracker. Into that vacuum strove Yuri Petrova. His first offering was the blindly a vanguard work Beep Ballet. It opened in Moscow to less then glowing approval from the Commissar of Arts, all the same he deemed it a superior work for the working people of the motherland. The company along with Petrova were sent to Siberia the next week. No account remains of the Ballet. Petrova was rumored to have made his way to Warsaw before the war.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert walked into the bedroom and sat next to Sabrina. “They make fun of you at school?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ve never admitted to being a witch. But with Buhmilda being my only real role model, I act as much like a witch as anyonee. They ask me embarassing questions.”
“Maybe they’re just curious,” Billbert suggested.
“Do you do ballet under the full moon, naked?” She said. “That’s not curiousity. That’s degrading.”
“Do you?” Billbert asked, then saw her angry glare. “Sorry, you made me curious.”
Sabrina pushed him off the bed, and lay down. “I’m going to sleep.”

SERENDIPIDY

I first came across him at a motivational conference.
Slick, persuasive, charismatic and a natural people person.
His inspirational message pretty much changed my life, and from that moment I decided he would be my role model.
Some years later, when the news broke about how he scammed his followers, his shady gangland activities, the prostitutes, drugs, violence and rumours of torture and murder, he lost all credibility.
But not for me.
In fact he grew in my estimation, and I saw no reason why he shouldn’t continue to be my role model.
Some might say, that’s a bad thing.

RICHARD

Buy now!
I can tell you’re curious, and believe me this is the deal of a lifetime.
Easy monthly instalments, free maintenance and upgrades, guaranteed performance and, best of all, no annual contract.
If you’re not entirely satisfied after the first twelve months, just give us a call, and return it in the original packaging, and that’s it. No obligation, no questions!
So, what are you waiting for? Just sign on the dotted line, pay a deposit, and we’ll deliver in seven working days.
And, once we have your first payment, we’ll tell you what you’ve actually bought.
Terms and conditions apply.

PLANET Z

Before video conferences, we held phone conferences.
The meeting started with a lot of beeps and people introducing themselves as they joined.
When everyone was on the conference, we’d start the discussion.
At the end of the conference, we’d all hang up, and the director would send out an email with a summary of the discussion and any action items.
Someone had the bright idea to suggest that we not do the conferences and just discuss over email or a private forum thread.
But that’s when video conferences got cheap, and we switched over, all keeping our cameras turned off.

Weekly Challenge #956 – Rose

The next topic is AUG 25 PICK TWO Role model, Beep, Curious, No annual contract, Conference, Ballet

Yeah, I screwed up the posting and didn’t notice until Saturday. I’m on fumes at this point.

RICHARD

– ​I love you –

She was found with a single red rose between her fingers.

The latest in a killing spree that had claimed nine victims in just two days, every one of them clutching a perfect, long-stemmed red rose. And we weren’t even close to identifying a suspect.

A mystery that I was desperate to solve, although perhaps not as desperate as some of my colleagues.
You see, I was fervently hoping for another three victims, and – crucially – I wanted them to be found before tomorrow.

In time for my wedding anniversary… so I could present twelve red roses to my wife.

TOM

Aunt Rose
My Great Aunt Rose was the oldest person I’d ever known. She came from that generation where not all women learned to drive. She lived on the Northside of Chicago. You could go your whole life never going farther than five miles from your home. On the occasion of family events, she rode with my Uncle Wilbur in a depression era vehicle. A warm, but guarded women whom had little time for children. I can’t remember a single conversation will her. The best memories I have of her was 20 feet away. I don’t think she approved of my either father.

SERENDIPIDY

I’ve striven for years to grow the perfect black rose.
A bloom to reflect the darkness in my soul.
However, no matter how hard I try, I can never quite get it right.
Perhaps it’s the soil, or it could be the weather, or maybe I’m simply not such a great gardener; but, whatever I try, the flowers never come out totally jet black.
And, I’m afraid, that’s simply not good enough for me.
But now, I’ve finally figured out the secret.
Perfect, black roses, every single time.
It’s amazing what a difference a spray can of paint can make!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert folded his arms. “Yes, it would be different if you were a boy. No one at school would make up stories about what happened while you were here.”
Sabrina stretched her injured leg toward him. The edge of her cutoff sweats rose up, showing the extent of her injuries. “Are you afraid others will make fun of you because you saw my legs?”
Billbert frowned. “They’ll say I saw more than that.”
“Remember. I’ve lived here a long time. They’ve said worse things about me before.” She crossed the bedroom to a rose colored bed and sat. “Let them talk.”

PLANET Z

Jesus woke up in darkness, covered with rocks.
He coughed dirt, clutched his aching side.
The last he remembered was the spear and shouting and…
He was alive. Alive!
He couldn’t move much, but the rocks at his feet felt loose, and he kicked until they rolled free.
Crawling slowly out of the hole… the sun burning his eyes.
He slipped down the rocks a bit, he was on a steep hill.
They’d shoved him in between some rocks and covered him up.
And now… what?
He got to his feet and looked around… he was thirsty and needed water.

Weekly Challenge #955 – Cat’s Pajamas

The next topic is Rose

TOM

With red pizza pattern

They used to be my pajamas, now they are the Cat’s pajamas. They were a goodwill purchase ages ago. I think it’s the color that alph-cat is drawn to. If the basket lingers for a mere moment the cat will dig down to the pizza pajamas. It isn’t good enough to be on the pajamas, the cat must be inside of one leg, while her head is poking out. When caught she eyeballs me back with an expression of “So”. Total ownership. When I am wearing said evening wear the cat will glide past a leg and thwack my ankle.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert’s mother looked at the clock. “Oh. It’s late. Go get Sabrina my pajamas and show her to the guest room.”
Rummaging through his mother’s dresser, Billbert found some PJs with cats on them. “You like cats, don’t you?”
Billbert gave her the pajamas and pointed down the passage. “The guest room is next to mine.”
Sabrina didn’t move. “You don’t seem very happy to have me here.”
Billbert shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never had a girl staying in our house; especially a girl who’s a friend.”
Sabrina frowned. “Would it be any different if I were a boy?”

LIZZIE

“The Cat’s Pajamas” was the name of the play. It involved a man pretending to play the piano on a rock plateau surrounded by water while the audience tried to reach him. They had to climb over rocks, slide on their butts, dodge rolling boulders, till they reached the water level. Most were taken to hospital with broken limbs. Several ended up in the morgue. And one managed to overcome all the hurdles. He got a certificate with a neat little stamp and a ribbon. Was there any music, the media asked. Ahm, nope, none whatsoever. Just wackos, many wackos.

SERENDIPIDY

We’re not completely evil you know.
Certainly we get a bad press, and I’ll be first to admit we deserve most of it, but we do have a good side. It’s just that most people never get to see it.
Why else would we choose cats to be our familiars?
You’d imagine rats or lizards, or even spiders would be more appropriate?
But we prefer cats, because even witches like cuddles and cuteness from time to time.
I even made mine special cats’ pajamas, because she gets cold at night.
And I’m far too stingy to put the heating on.

RICHARD

Animal Instincts
She thought she was the cat’s pajamas, the bee’s knees, and the dog’s… well, you know the expression.
The fact is, with all that morphine sloshing around inside her system, you could have told her she was the monkey’s uncle, and she’d believe you.
It was amusing, both for her and for us spending long hours at her bedside, and it took everyone’s minds off the pain.
Thankfully, neither the pain, nor the idiocy lasted, and eventually, she was nursed back to full health.
Not entirely a good thing, unfortunately.
Now, she behaves like a bear with a sore head.

PLANET Z

Every few days, the cats change their sleeping spots.
I’ve tried heated cat beds before, but neither cat used them.
Instead, they’d choose a shoe box, or under a pillow on the bed, or on a blanket in the reading room.
Laundry baskets are a frequent selection. Especially when there’s soft things to shed all over.
It’s all going in the wash anyway, right?
Except that shed cat hair clogs up the lint trap or gets all over everything like a shredded kleenex left in a pocket.
And keep the dryer closed.
To keep the cats from sleeping in there.