Category: Tom

How To Write 100 Word Stories #5

Many folk have sent up smoke signals which ask how do you tom write a 100 word story

I find I get my best ideas for stories while bathing in the tub. I fill the old claw foot with about 45 packages of Jell-O six bags of dry ice and I’m pretty must ready to go. Did I mention the defibrillator? Yep must have that ready when you lose conscience. I double wrap them in glad bags. Wouldn’t want to lose the moment with a nasty electrocution burn. Nice people in the tunnel of light have the loveliest story ideas.

How To Write 100 Word Stories #4

Many folk have dialed 911 and ask how do you tom write a 100 word story

Oh I find its easiest to just writing down any old word on a chuck of cedar and chuck it into the old Franklin stove. Just before it gets white hot I reach in grab a fistful of coals and toss them on to the couch. You may find this hard to believe but nine times out ten the coals need little or no editing. Every once and a while you got to throw some water on one or two, but that about it.

How To Write 100 Word Stories #3

A poem in iambic pentameter in the style of Vigil well before he got catch at the bath house doing the backstroke with the Emperor’s wife Laybeeus Maximus (my wasn’t that a messy bit of business I’llll tell you) transported by a herd of semi wild Arizonian camels following the same route used by the Donner party and by a odd coincidence the same month with the same level of snow fall same morbidity rate (now isn’t that rather odd I’lllll say) What was the question?

How To Write 100 Word Stories #2

Many folk have telegrammed me and ask how do you tom write a 100 words story

Well ya take your old trusty Number 6 Whitworth spanner and gently wedge it between the governor and the Simons exhaust manifold. Give it 2.6 radials turns stop when the molten lava reach the second canary’s cage or until the Paschal candle burns down to the second red wax nail. Under no circumstances lets the level in the birdbath drop to expose the top fusion rod while the spanner is in the dorsal position. Set the timer to 10 and run like hell.

How To Write 100 Word Stories #1

This is a new series by Weekly Challenge Veteran and Golden Monkey Whisperer Tom where he shares his secrets in 100 word storywriting.

(Yes, there will be a quiz later.)

Many folk have emailed me and ask how do you tom write a 100 words story.

Well I start with two pieces of wonder beard (crusts trimmed) On one piece I spread an ample layer of mayonnaise to which I sprinkle a fair amount of bacon bits. On the other slice I lather on crunchy style peanut butter as a bed for crumbled ruffled potato chips. I slap it together pierce the top with five toothpicks in the form of an American star an olive atop each. Put it out on the deck for the cat and take a nap.

What a friend we have in Ebay

I got this magic toaster. I use it with magic bread. Each morning I pop in two slices and out comes impressions of the saints. I got to spread some magic butter on both sides first and that has a tendency to short the magic toaster out. Last week I got a bunch of St Vince De Pauls. I’m working my way up to the holy family. Then the big bucks will start rolling in. Yes true believers will pay considerable cash for Jesus on a sourdough rye. Who knows maybe I can get a Virgin Mary on a pumpernickel?

Mission Control, we have a problem

I deployed the spacepod, set the distress beacon to max, broke the survival manual seal. I put the data crystal into my ipod and Lolita appeared.

“We at MaxCorp have compiled a list of the three most important procedures to ensure you maintain mental stability in the event of lengthy rescue extraction.”

One engages in fanciful verbal dialects while talking to yourself.

“OK ME MATES it be a pirate’s life for me.”

Two positive affirmations.

“I will survive. I will to survive. Survive I will.

Third make music.

I whip out the old mouth harp and do some Mahler

Huguenots Zero

Louie and Phileep were inseparable. Their mothers would say: Comme deux pois dans une gousse. They slept in the top draw of Madame Trebecks bureau. Later they moved into Madame Dumount’s armoire. Louie developed a devotion for god and chose to follow a calling to the priesthood. Despite no inclination for matters religious Phileep join his friend in the seminar. When Phileep informed his friend of his desire to join the army Louie came with him. Their odd mix of careers came into total alignment the morning of St Barthemew’s Day. They lined the fallen like peas in a pod.

Toeing the Line

Scrawl O’Dule dragged the chalk along the paving stones. Stripped bare to the waist lumbered Fin Joyce 235 pound of muscles staring straight into the black eyes of Shawn O’Mally the undisputed champion of Northern Dublin. “Gentleman on the line and begin” O’Dule bellow to the crowd that filled the streets. Each man toed the line and throw a blind number of blows in the first minute of encounter. Upper cuts, follies of gabs, hooks. Blood and sweat spattered the closest on-lookers. Despite the force of those hits each foot remain firm on the line till O’Mally hit the pavement.

Hey kids it comes in six different colors

When I was a kid I never had the resources to collect the full set. It didn’t matter what the set was I would always end up with 16 of the same thing and give up. That was until I found my grandfather fishing tackle. He uses to collect fishing slurs. I can count the number of times I’d open that thing and end up in the ER. Well I opened it anyway, but no fishing slurs just 1000 share notes of ATT stock from 1919. Now I collect football teams. I think I might just collect the full set.