Weekly Challenge #165 – Cyborgs combined with… ?

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Sixty-Five, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Cyborgs combined with… ?.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Norval Joe from http://norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com/
Laurie from http://www.myspace.com/sufferingraven
Guy David from http://guydavid.com/
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com/
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com/
Danny from http://dannymachal.com/
Justin from http://www.thespaceturtle.com/
Ishtar from http://ishtarskiss.blogspot.com/
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Norval Joe

One important point that they missed when they started combining cyborgs with ordinary appliances was their underlying sub routine to dominate less intelligent creatures.
The central processing units were added to household appliances, vehicles and industrial machinery.
While the humans remained smarter, it wasn’t a problem, but with the increased leisure time and decreased intellectual stimulation, it didn’t take long for the humans to get soft.
Soon vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers and mini vans prepared to clam their rightful place.
The revolution began when the president of the united states was sitting on the toilet and commanded it to flush.

Laurie

Hiking in a small southern town at nightfall, my friend Jannine and I came across a huge metal fence with all sorts of warning signs and No trespassing banners.
She immediately found her cable cutters and we entered.
As far as the eyes can see are various size tents. We enter the first tent. We see a cage with a small animal but hanging from the cage was a monstrous lock. I broke a long stick of the nearest tree and began poking at the animal. A flap of skin pulled off the ear and down to its cute bunny tale, exposing nothing but wires and metal just then I heard a strange mechanical sound coming from the tents dark corner.

Guy David

The tin man was arguing with the scarecrow, when they heard a strange sound. “It’s the sound of a large animal” said the lion, looking scared. “It doesn’t sound like any animal I know of, but then… what do I know?” said the scarecrow. “Look at that cloud of dust, coming right up the yellow brick road” said the tin man. The cloud came closer and a bus came out of it. Since the tin man was standing in the middle of the road, he got embedded in the bus becoming both part of it and one of it’s passengers.

Anima

YOU’VE JUST WON!
Steve clicked and clicked again. He wanted that free laptop. Three hundred surveys was typical: questionnaires on diapers, on-line movie rentals, and if he was overpaying on pet meds; there were five dozen queries on changing his career, and ten offers for “male enhancement”, but only one invitation to design a robotic avatar. “That sounds cool…”
One more click. Suddenly, heavy-duty cables sprung from Steve’s CPU, attaching themselves firmly to his spinal column. Two jigabytes of cyberjuice flowed from the Borg Collective directly into his nervous system. His quads melted away, revealing titanium supports and hydraulic lines.
Free laptop anyone?

Lynda

Yes, I was drunk when I volunteered for this trip back in time, but come on, the target is part cyborg…part teddy bear?
The designer told me the thing started to kill people after it was exposed to a rancid quart of bear lube. He was too chicken to come back here and face his creation, this tiny little toy.
It spoke. “Hi, there! Can you and I be friends?”
Perky fables and sickly sweet songs echoed through the steel refinery as I smiled down at the molten metal. I extended one finger to the bear as I sank.

Danny

I created the humans and gave them fire.
Promptly after a short time, they destroyed me and created machines.
The cycle of creation continued and the machines destroyed them.
Now we both sit here on the sidelines; watching a civilization completely driven by efficiency and logic.
The machines are taking bits of everything from both of us and creating the beginning of their own demise.
A.I. that has the ability to choose and feel, is permeating their population.
I was amazed at human creation of the computer. The humans seem quite alarmed at the new cyborg pirates all wearing crucifixes.

Justin

I remember when the cyborg troops of Fazfud stormed across the Earth. Much of humanity bloated up and died from heart attacks as the cyborg hamburgers and Fry Fighters let loose their cholesterol rays and trans-fat bombs. My farm barely survived.
My brother and I led the final resistance that saved the world. We had already been working on genetically modified vegetables when the attacks began. A simple modification of the research goals turned a project to reduce world hunger into a weaponization of a garden variety.
The Fazfudians could not withstand our BOB Tomato bombs and LAR-E Cucumber Missiles.

Ishtar

Hmmmmmmmm. A moan escapes my lips as electronic fingertips
caress the flesh. Our cybernetic implants connect.
Just a few years ago, who would even think about cybernetics
and sex. Our minds connect. Computer code flashes before my
eyes, then, Oh I can feel it. Through his body, I can feel him
holding me. Ummmmm.
Oh the fun well have. He can hear my thoughts. He closes his eyes.
A taste of lips, the feel of muscle and flesh. Basic body chemical reactions
intensified a thousand fold.
Electrical impulses, Ecstacy, Primal animal instinct, who knew lust and
cybernetics could do this.

Planet Z

My daughter is dying.
Slow-growing tumors, spreading throughout her body.
The doctors remove them, but not fast enough.
I cannot lose her.
I design robots. My daughter loves to play with them.
Now, I have replaced so much of her lost to disease, she practically is one.
No tears to cry. A smile always on her face.
She still thinks. And fears.
Another surgery needed, another replacement.
I hold her, trying to comfort her.
She cannot feel. Just sitting there, looking out the window.
She says “This is a recording. I died three days ago. I love you, Daddy.”

The Barber

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Back when I was a younger man, I liked to play jokes.
I get bored easily. When I get bored, I joke.
I went into the barber shop every day of the week for a haircut.
As I came back each day, the barber became more and more confused.
“Weren’t you just here yesterday?” he asked.
“It only feels that way,” I said. “Should I come in more often?”
On Friday, I didn’t give him a tip.
“You left it too long!” I shouted and stormed out of the shop.
The barber scalped me so I’d never do it again.

Burn the trees

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We need more farmland, so we must clear more trees.
The warriors tried to burn the trees down, but once we lit them on fire, they continued burning for weeks.
The fire rages in their branches without consuming them.
Instead of clearing the forest of all trees, we cleared the forest of all the inhabitants.
The flames scared away all the creatures with any sense to fear fire, and those that didn’t, they burned.
We watched the forest burn from our huts on the hills, and knowing that the planting season would pass us by, we prepared our fishing nets.

The Magical Shoes

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The shoes! Magical talking shoes!
We agree they’re worth a share of treasure.
“We are worth two!” cry the shoes.
“Hold your tongues!” I say. “You don’t have a say in this matter.”
As each member of our group examined them, they squeaked.
“Dwarf feet stink! Worse than the goblin you rescued me from!”
“Warriors jump too much!”
“Priests are boring!”
And our mage didn’t like them.
“They lack curly points,” he said.
“We’ll sell them?” said the dwarf.
We agreed.
“No!” protested the shoes.
Heading out of the dungeon, we were ambushed by goblins.
The shoes screamed. “Not again!”

The Chicken Channel

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The cable is out.
Ever since the conversion to digital signals, the cable has been rock-solid. And…
It’s back? That was pretty quick.
Usually, it takes hours. That was just a few seconds.
For a moment, I swear I saw…
A chicken?
We have a digital recorder, so I rewind the tape… Hah, all these anachronistic terms.
Anyway, I go back and…
A chicken. Staring out from the screen.
It is a powerful, bold chicken. It is a majestic, God-like chicken. I am ready to do as it commands.
And I am filled with the overwhelming urge to eat… BEEF!

No Clue

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From the moment I was called on, it was obvious: I had no clue.
Everybody else has a clue, but when Teacher asked where mine was, I said “I forgot.”
The other kids, with their bloody knives and smoking guns and fingerprints, laughing at me.
Shrinking into my seat, the laughter just gets worse.
I snapped. I went on a murderous rampage with the various weapons in the classroom.
When the smoke cleared, I was the last alive.
That’s when I realized… I had a clue after all.
Many clues.
Sitting there, on the desk.
I give myself an A.

Sunday Brunch

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I was cleaning the litterbox when I came across a human skull.
I’m pretty sure it’s human, unlike the past three skulls, which turned out to be chimpanzees.
My kitten is asleep on a chair.
Should I have stopped him after finding the first skull?
It was only a chimpanzee, right? Where’s the harm in that?
I haven’t seen any posters about missing chimpanzee skulls. Or, now, human skulls.
I tried to put a camera on the litterbox, but the power cord had been chewed on and pulled out.
The kitten is awake. I smile, and cautiously wiggle a ribbon.

Weekly Challenge #164 – Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Sixty-Four, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Justin from http://www.thespaceturtle.com/
Norval Joe from http://norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com/
Guy David from http://guydavid.com/
Tom from http://footnote.libsyn.com
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com/
Jeffrey from http://greathites.blogspot.com/
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com/
Danny from http://dannymachal.com/
Platinum Lightning from http://sites.google.com/site/platinumlightningshow/
Mike P from http://mjpaxton.com/
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Justin

What’s the 100 word story topic for this week?
Hmmmmm?
The topic, what is it.
Hmmmmmm.
Are you even listening to me?
HmHmmmmm.
Is there something wrong with your mouth?
Hmmmm.
Are you just not talking to me?
HmmHmmmm.
Are you writing the story later?
HmmHmmmm.
What’s the topic?
Hmmmmmm!
Justin, stop that and say something!
Ah, finally unjinxed.
Oh, I forgot about that.
I was playing a game of Gemcraft the whole time, sine just before you jinkxed me from the other room.
What did we say?
We both suggested pizza.
Oh, right. So, what’s the topic?
Hmmmmmm.
Augh!

Norval Joe

”Hmmmmmmmmmmm.” The judge said and scowled at the plaintiffs.
“My first thought is to charge the two of you with contempt for wasting my time.
“Then you should have to attend counseling for problem solving. For pity’s sake, you’re adults, and brothers for that matter.
“I refuse to talk with that thief,” the first brother said.
“No way. That embezzler has divided our family for years,” the other countered.
The judge finally decided. “If you can’t equitably divide your father’s inheritance, I’ll pay it to a surgeon who can divide the two of you.”
The Siamese twins decided to cooperate.

Guy David

The young librarian lifted her head in surprise as the letter “H” passed by her desk, followed by eleven “m”s. As she took a peek over the book she was reading, she saw many letters and words strolling around the library. “That can’t be right” she thought. She put down her book and started picking books of the shelves, looking for the one the words poured out of. She opened a big book about mechanics. A bus came out of it and accumulated the library, making the librarian his passenger. “Welcome to my bus” said Elvis, the bus driver.

Tom

“Jack check this out.
If you go hmmmmmmmm
and look a digital clock
the numbers vibrated like those
magnetic filament bulb form the 70’s.”
“Hmmmm…. It didn’t work.”
“Wait, try this keep your teeth
touching like a north Texas cowpoke.”
“No good.”
“Ok, keep your feet shoulder length apart,
arms at your side and head tilled downward.
“Hmmmmm. I think its working I seee ……..”
“This is Juliet Savage with KCAN TV reporting from the site of a oscillation experiment gone wrong. Block of buildings have been reduced to rubble by going Hmmmmmmmm….”
“Mr. President we just lost Portland.”
“Hmmmmmmmm….”

Anima

“Nice garden, Julie; What are you growing this year?”
“I thought I would try a new variety of boyfriend vine. This one is a strong grower, with solid seed production. Clingier than others, so I’ll have to provide good support.
I’ve decided to go with an annual this year; I’ve tried perennials, and I am tired of being disappointed. Perennials grow good for a few years, and then bam! – they wither, quit producing flowers, and basically take up space. I have high hopes for this one.”
“Uh oh – he’s already trying to speak.”
HMMmmmmmmMMMmm
“He looked better in the catalogue…”

Laurie

I know these two guys that are professional wrestlers. They live in the city and are inseparable. They live in a modest house so no one suspects their vast wisdom and incredible wealth. They own a human. They call him their camera man so he wont get his feelings hurt but really he is nothing more than a slave. He is their butler, chauffer, He even cooks their every meal. They also make this slave work full time and after a long day in a small crappy office he comes home and has to follow them around narrating their videos with a cartoon like speech impediment. “Who’s the Crazy Kitty? Hmmmm? Who’s the crazy Kitty?“ and then posts it on their blog. Sometimes they make him sleep on the couch. They never give their slave enough attention and love, just enough to keep him under their spell.

Jeffrey

“What is he doing over there?”
“I don’t know, but he said if he got one more stupid phone call he was going to go postal.”
“I though Neil as anti-gun?”
“He is.”
“So what is he going to go postal with.”
“I don’t know but whatever it is it appears to be pretty long.”
“It sure is taking him a long time to pull it out. Do you suspect that he is going to hurt anyone with it?”
“I’m still trying to figure out what it is.”
“Hmmm He brought a halberd. How do you conceal on of those?

Lynda

“Doc, you gotta help me! I’ve got this rash, and it’s just like one my mother has on her… well, never mind. The other night I found a strange thong under my husband’s pillow and I threatened to throw the toaster into the hot tub with him if he didn’t tell me the truth.
“I said, ‘I know you only married me because I was a younger version of my mother, did you give me her rash?!’
“He says, ‘No, I got it from your father’s girlfriend.’ What am I gonna do?”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmm.… First things first. Have you been flossing?”

Danny

“Hmmmmm,” I said.
“What?” she said.
“Hmmmmmmmm,” I was louder this time. She ignored my plea and went to the metal work bench behind my naked, restrained, body.
My feet and hands were shackled by chains attached to metal rings in the floor, ensuring my absolute immobilization.
First, the sound of a drill was heard. Then, the sound of a chain saw in proper working order. None of this made me cringe as much as the bench grinder did.
She ripped the tape off of my mouth.
“Guess you can’t say the safe word with tape on.”
“Proceed,” I said.

Platinum

“Something’s at the door, Mike.”
“Don’t let it in. It’s just a zombie.”
“Zombies don’t knock like that.”
“It goes ‘hmmmmm’ like a zombie does.”
“It goes ‘hmmmmm’, but not like a zombie. Zombie hmmmmms sound different. I think It’s a gorilla. See, that’s a zombie. And the gorilla just killed it.”
“We can’t take chances.”
“Why not? We’re running out of ammo, and we’ll die soon if we don’t get help. We need a gorilla on our side.”
“Fine, let it in.”
“OH GOD! IT’S A GORILLA VIKING! WATCH OUT!”

Mike P.

I sat in a booth near the back of the bar. The new ex-girlfriends went
straight to the bar after saying their piece – Tom promised to give me
some of the tips. The line of future ex-girlfriends stretched out the
door and, I imagined, a quarter-mile down the block.
“You’re just not tall enough.”
“You’re too tall.”
“I’d rather date an astronaut.”
“You’re a terrible sky pirate.”
“When I’m with you, you make me hate my cat.”
I didn’t realize keeping multiple girlfriends secret from each other
could backfire. Maybe I should learn something from this.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Planet Z

Foster couldn’t take it anymore.
He spent yesterday just humming.
This morning, he drank poison.
For fifty years, Foster said he’d kill himself.
We all say it, but this asteroid is Paradise and we can live here forever.
The machines keep us alive and young.
There are always things to do. We have done lifetimes of research, writing, sculpting, and pleasure.
If we need a challenge, the machines break themselves and we fix them.
Were people meant to do this? Live forever?
We are nine now.
I find myself humming.
And I stop.
I like this eternal comfort.
Don’t you?

Squeaky Wheel

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The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but what do the other wheels get?
Nothing. That’s why all the wheels squeak at the same time.
One squeaks loudly, and the others think “Hey, we don’t want that wheel getting all the grease! We want grease, too!”
Yes, wheels think. They go round and round with this stuff in their little wheel heads.
They all start to squeak, even though they’re fine.
Pretty soon, all the wheels are squeaking as loud as they can.
Never mind that they’re sitting perfectly still, not moving.
Yeah, that creeps the shit out of me, too.

Gutter

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Hi. My name is Gus Gustafson.
I design gutters. The best in town.
If you need a gutter, get Gus!
That’s on the side of my truck.
I put a lot of thought into my gutters.
You could say that my mind is always in the gutter.
And you’d be right. When I’m not designing gutters on my computer, I’m using it to download and watch hardcore pornography.
While watching a midget amputee rape a donkey, I notice that the gutters on their bungalow are uneven and sagging.
So is the midget, but there’s nothing I can do about that.