The Talking Kid

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We love our kid.
How can we not? He’s our kid.
One disappointment with him, though. Our boy didn’t start talking until he was four.
But when he started, he just couldn’t shut up.
He talks all the time.
During meals.
In the bath.
In the preschool.
And even in his sleep.
Some of it makes sense, but the vast majority of what comes from his mouth is nonsensical babble.
So, we give him gum to chew. When he chews gum, he can’t talk.
He blows bubbles now. Popping all the time.
But it’s not as annoying as the babble.

Count To Ten

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She tied me to a chair and broke each of my fingers, one by one.
As she did it, she looked me in the eyes, and her smile got wider and wider with every finger she broke.
She held my hand, my left thumb slipped between her lips and she sucked on it slowly.
“Don’t!” I said.
I felt her teeth against my skin.
“This is going to hurt,” she said. And with my thumb in her teeth, she broke it clean.
Tomorrow, she will sign my casts and leave.
And she’ll wait for the day they come off again.

Migration

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Watch the spaghetti for me.
Don’t let it overcook. And don’t let it escape.
Remember the last time the spaghetti got loose? It took an entire legion of the Baron’s soldiers to subdue and drive back to the kitchen.
If it hadn’t been so delicious, both of us would have lost our heads.
They say that spaghetti is supposed to be easy, but when you forget to salt the water, all kinds of curses and maliciousness gets into the pasta.
The meatballs are screaming again?
Best not to serve them at all. We’ll use olive oil and pepper this time.

Predetermined

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You can’t change fate. Everything is predetermined.
From the beginning of time to the end of time, everything has been planned for.
Even the roll of the dice has a set outcome.
Don’t bother trying to escape from your fate.
This doesn’t means you should just sit there and let things happen.
Because the times you make happen, well, those were fated to happen, too.
The fact that everything happens according to a plan means you are completely absolved from the results of your actions.
This is what I’ll be telling the judge about those seventy-eight murders you committed.
Psycho.

Weekly Challenge #153 – Swimming in de Nile

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Fifty Three, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Swimming in De Nile.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories from Weekly Challenge #153?
Tom from http://midi.libsyn.com/
Guy from http://guydavid.com/
Caleb from http://blacktiemartiniclub.com/
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com
Jeffrey from http://greathites.blogspot.com
Justin from http://thespaceturtle.com
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com
Norval Joe from http://www.norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com/
Houston Keys from http://tatertotsforthemasses.blogspot.com
Mike from http://mjpaxton.com
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Tom

Alma Sue Louise, that was her conformation name, was a deeply devoted catholic had that amazing logical off twitch which allowed her to believe in spite of all mounding evidence that her husband Leroy Michael Joseph was cheating on her with no less that her childhood friend Mary Margaret Xavier Sullivan.
“Girl” said her mother, “if you believe that man
of yours is faithful youall is treading water in Egypt.”

What Momma?”
“Yous is swimming in de Nile.”
“I don’t know how to swimming.”
“Lordie child
“I’m going to have to drop you
“in Jean-Paul Sartre end of de pool.”

Guy David

The young princess went skinny dipping in the river, when she spotted a small ark flouting on it. She fished it and found a crying baby inside. She got home and asked her father, The Pharaoh, if she could keep him. “Sure” her father said, “As long as you take him for walks. I don’t want him shitting all over my palace.” She thanked him and decided to name the baby. At first she thought of calling him Moses since in her language it meant “the one that got fished from the river”, but then she just called him Fiddo.

Caleb

While swimming in the nile
I met a crocodile
As our eyes met
Down the bank he swept
He gave me such a smile.
I thought then how I’d wish
I’d not had so much fish
Down in my guts
With wine and nuts
To make a croc’s stuffed dish
The croc began to swim
With vigor and with vim
On up to me
I tried to flee
And pleaded unto him
The croc said pleased to meet you
Now I’m not here to eat you
You won’t be gored
By the tourism board
I’m simply here to greet you

Lynda

In the summer of 1927 I was part of an expedition to uncover the lost temple of
Sobek-Ra, the crocodile god of Egypt. It was hot inside the tombs, but it was even
hotter outside. At the end of the day we’d wash the sand and sweat off in the
river, ignoring the warnings of the locals about what lay beneath the surface. I
was the only only one to survive.
I still hear the sound when I try to sleep. Those days were called the roaring
twenties for a reason, just not the reason anyone wants to admit.

Anima

“Momma Neith, is it October yet? I want a tasty tourist…”
“Sssh… No tears, Sobek. Big crocs don’t cry. Look! The feluccas are coming
down river. Be still… Go with the flow. Lower your head more… just nostrils
out of the water.”
“There’s one… the lady trailing her fingers in the water…”
“No, she’ll never go swimming and She looks too old anyway… keep on looking.
Let’s wait for a boat filled with young people. Listen for the loudest one.
Tourists rarely pay attention to anything floating quietly, plus, they find
the Egyptian sun so hot…”
“I am a log…”

Jeff

there are only so many things one person can do, no matter how hard
that person works. I was living proof of that. Here I was, I thought
I had it all under control. My wife was happy, my kids were happy, my
boss was happy. Heck most days I was pretty sure that I was happy.
Then we had to get the swimming pool, the pool was great the kids
loved it. Then came the lap machine, one that makes a current. The
all stood and laughed cranking, that was when I realized I was
swimming in de Nile.

Justin

When Discovery Channel scientists developed a camera that could see into
ancient times, current archeology became a thing of the past. The first
documentary, Egypt, broadcast live.
Many amazing discoveries were made about ancient Egypt. It was a very
nihilistic society. Activities at a bath proved that Chiropractic care
already existed. It was even discovered there was a sales team that sold
giant stones and involved higher ranked salesmen taking part of lower ranked
salesman’s earnings, it was the first pyramid scheme. The most amazing
discovery revealed that Pharaohs were buried with sweet lozenges to help
deal with their sarcophagus.

Norval Joe

Michael Phelps likes to do everything fast. Whether it is chopping vegetables, signing autographs or learning to speak Chinese, with Rosetta Stone.
On a flight to Europe the in-flight movie was Crocodile Dundee, and that gave him an idea. Redirecting his return flight through Egypt he went to the Nile to show Paul Hogan what he was made of. In his speedo, he jumped in to outswim the crocodiles.
His goal was to beat the records he set in the 2008 summer Olympics. Instead, in London, in 2012, he’ll be in the paralympics, competing as a double, below knee, amputee.

Houston Keys

You ask ME about swimming in de Nile?
I did it once, but only once. Leeches and creepy crawlies in my nether
regions convinced me to give it up. Besides camel dung and plagues and
all that other stuff takes away from the fun.
Sometimes de Nile isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I used to watch my
buddies swim, but some seasons all they could do was wallow in it as
there wasn’t enough crap to actually swim in.
Well, enough wool gathering about my own youthful indiscretions.
I prefer to let the president swim in it now.

Mike P

Deanna Nile had become a celebrity at age 17, when her first CD
dropped and sixth grade girls went nuts. Her parents hired bodyguards
to protect her from the loonies, but they had limits. When she snuck
off and met her dealer, her guards didn’t know where she was. Nobody
did, except for the dealer. And Harry, her “number one fan.” The
bodyguards found Deanna in the alley behind the club 15 minutes too
late, her blood pooling on the ground. Cockroaches were swarming, and
as it began to rain it seemed as if they were swimming in De Nile.

Planet Z

Once, long ago, Egypt boasted many rivers.
One by one, these rivers were picked up and hauled away by various conquerors.
Dragged before royal courts in chains, forced to bow before kings, used for sport and pleasure.
Louis the Sixteenth powered his fountains with The River Anubis.
Pretty soon, all that was left was the Nile.
Too valuable to lose, Nasser ordered the construction of the Aswan Dam for its protection.
It’s worked well. Until today.
Our team is ready and waiting in Sudan, and with one word, the trap will be unleashed.
So, President Mubarak, about that billion dollars?

The Sleeper

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My little girl couldn’t fall asleep.
So I told her to close her eyes, think of clouds, and count slowly to ten.
She always fell asleep at five or six.
But one night, she got to ten.
And she was by the bed, shaking me.
Wake up, Daddy, she said.
She does it to her classmates, at their desks.
She doesn’t even have to count out loud.
She just thinks of clouds and counts to ten.
What happens when you count backwards? I ask her.
She shakes her head. No, she says.
I feel tired, so I don’t ask again.

Floating

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It rained hard for a day, and the bayou looked like it would overflow, but it didn’t.
We watched tree branches and other junk flow with the water.
Then, a dead body. Jeans, jacket… face down and not moving.
Well, okay. It was moving downstream.
Around the bend, another body floated by.
Two bodies.
Instead of calling the police, we placed bets.
I bet on the first body. It had a good head start.
But the other one was coming up fast.
Mine got caught on a tree branch, and the other won.
Only then, did we call the police.

The Prison of Oz

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Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion sat in the prison cell, weeping.
The Scarecrow had insisted that they take him apart and slip him through the bars.
“I can go for help!” he said cheerfully.
So, they pulled out his straw and threw it with his empty clothes out the barred window.
They blew away in the breeze.
The Tinman insisted that he could slip through the bars if they hammered him flat.
The heavy wooden bench proved useful for this purpose.
It also proved destructive. They called out to him, but the Tin Man did nothing but twitch and moan.

Hawaii

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I saved up for a year to go to Hawaii.
I kept a calendar, marked every day off until it was time.
First class ticket, champagne and leg room.
They put one of those flower necklaces on me.
Checked into the hotel, and then took a taxi to a party.
First time I ever had poi.
That’s when my throat locked up.
I’m allergic, it turns out.
Spent the whole week in the hospital.
I don’t remember the flight back.
Yeah, being allergic to bees or gluten would suck.
But I can’t help but think this was far, far worse.

Curses

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The Great Mage, The Master of Kraken, taught me that all curses should be removed in reverse order as they were inflicted on the victim as to not cause harmful effects as they are unbound and dispelled.
Like turning the pages of a book. Auras overlap, but a good wizard can carefully determine the proper procedure in less than a day.
Never rush a job because someone’s dying from their afflictions. That can be delayed or cured, too.
With that in mind, where is this werewolf with the Midas Touch that’s been turned to stone?
I love a good challenge.