The Wacky Adventures of Abraham Lincoln 34

Lincoln hated press conferences.
Okay, he didn’t hate the delicious snacks offered there. The seats were comfy, too.
Those damn reporters! Ever since the war began, the press had turned against him.
Better open with a funny quote, he thought.
“Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.”
A shriveled crone in the front row stood up, clutching her notepad with claw-like hands.
“Is the Stanton Memo true?” she asked. “Didn’t your administration provoke The South states into secession?”
Damn Helen Thomas, thought Abe. Won’t you ever die?