One of the most unusual ways to mark the holiday season would be to feed a meal to your guests that will make them piss green and shit red.
The idea came to me after I pissed green for days after St. Patrick Day.
“I’m halfway to Christmas,” I thought.
Then I passed out, because I was drunk off my ass.
After I recovered, I had to piss again.
Red and green piss came out.
“Christmas colors!” I said. “I did it!”
My urologist says it’s prostate cancer.
And it’s spread quickly.
Now, I’ll be lucky to see next Christmas.