John Donne said that no man is an island.
But that dude lived centuries ago. He never met Rex.
My friend Rex was freaking huge.
And when went goes swimming, people mistook him for an island.
One day, two Spaniards crowed ashore to Rex and planted a flag in his ass to claim him in the name of the queen.
However, a Frenchman and a Dutchman had already claimed Rex.
Rex rolled over and drowned them all.
He’s dead now. Heart attack.
We buried him at Mt. Rex cemetery.
Yes, the mountain isn’t just named after him… it is him.