The Wacky Adventures Of Abraham Lincoln 45

Abe looked at the Santa Claus that had been hired for the Christmas Party and scowled.
“He’s drunk,” said the president. “And he can’t keep his hands off the ladies.”
“I’ll have him removed, sir,” said his bodyguard.
The bodyguard grabbed Santa, who protested loudly.
“I am not drunk and lewd! I am merely acting! I am an actor!”
“That’s nice,” said the bodyguard, dragging him out the front door.
Santa shook his fist at the White House. “John Wilkes Booth shall have his revenge!”
History tells us that he did. But not about the Santa gig.
Goddamned Carl Sandberg.