Three sheets

John Redcloud was a lousy sailor and a constant drunk.
He was usually too blitzed to find his boat at the marina.
“Three Sheets To The Wind” was its name.
The rare times he managed to stagger to the right slip, his boat was usually moored at or crashed into another, covered with angry notes from his fellow sailors and the harbormaster.
Or sunk to the bottom, the topmast and ragged mainsail sticking out of the water like the fish wanted to surrender.
His father would buy him another, because boats are slightly cheaper than Porsches.
And cops. And reporters.