Never Had

Never had a kid.
Never held my baby in my arms.
My baby.
So precious.
No first tooth.
No first words, first steps.
First day at school.
None at all.
No report cards, nothing but A’s.
Or F’s.
Detentions.
Run-ins with the police.
That’s no so bad, really.
Never having to bail your kid out.
Or identify their body.
Waiting for a match on the transplant list.
As they get sicker… and sicker… and sicker…
Is it selfish of me?
Not to want to feel any of that?
Not to take a chance?
Maybe.
When someone took one on me?