Soaking in the tub, breathing slowly.
Watching the blood leak from my arms into the water.
Red spirals and loops, it’s almost beautiful.
I barely notice the pain.
Drowsy, relaxed.
Is it the warm water in the tub, or the loss of blood?
Probably both. Or maybe it’s the pills.
I slide down, and my head goes under the water.
I don’t even try to lift it back up. I don’t know if I could.
My eyes open, looking up, cloudier and cloudier.
And darker. From the blood in the water, or the loss of blood?
It doesn’t really matter.