George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He wrote himself encouraging Post-It Notes, such as:
“BE THE BEST PIRATE YOU CAN BE!”
“THE SCURVY DOG GETS THE BONE!”
“A PIECE OF EIGHT IS NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER SEVEN PIECES!”
He stood at the mirror, practicing his menacing leers, and telling himself that he was a good pirate.
This didn’t change anything.
But George did get a side job of writing pirate greeting cards.
With every amputation and newly-installed peg leg, his shipmates also got one of his renowned Get Well Soon cards.
How nice of him.