George the Paperpusher

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
So, as other pirates groused over daily status meetings, George saw them as a welcome respite from the routine and drudgery of piracy.
Instead of keeling and kauling, he could delight in endless Power Point presentations and mission statements.
“Enough with the meetings,” growled the crew. “Can’t we just sail the high seas and loot and plunder?”
“Certainly,” said George. “But recent metrics clearly show great improvements in efficiency, performance, and safety.”
The crew lifted George with their legs, not their backs, as they strung him from the yardarm.