Because you really need a story about a goddamned puppy

Tina wanted a puppy for Christmas.
She asked for one all the time.
On Christmas Day, she woke up, ran down the stairs, and…
No puppy.
But when she opened her gifts: a dog collar, a bowl, some treats, and a pooper scooper.
“Let’s go to the shelter and get a puppy,” her dad said.
So, they went to the shelter, and Tina looked at the puppies.
“I don’t like any of them,” she said.
“Well, what kind do you want?” asked her dad.
Tina couldn’t decide.
So, the collar, bowl, treats, and scooper sat in the corner, gathering dust.