There’s no worse gift than socks.
They’re worse than sweaters and underwear.
When I got socks as a gift, I made sock puppets.
And I would put on plays where the puppets lamented about how crappy they were as gifts.
With practice, I got really good at sock puppetry.
Even if it was all on the street corner.
Still, I earned quite a bit of money from these puppet plays.
I saved up my coins and put them in the socks to use as a sap on the asshole aunts and grandparents who gave me these socks as a gift.