George the Lover

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
However, this didn’t matter. Because all the ladies love pirates.
So dashing, so handsome.
Who cares if they’re bumbling incompetents, fumbling their sword and tripping over every rope and pile of cannonballs, as long as they set a virile and dashing figure.
Nobody had to know the truth, and George certainly wasn’t about to tell them.
His shipmates, on the other hand, had absolutely no problem telling the women how much of a fool George was.
And that’s why there’s hookers. They’re paid not to ask too many questions.