George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He also wasn’t a very good hunter.
Instead of setting traps for animals, he’d run after them, failing his cutlass around wildly and shouting obscenities.
George was chasing a strange rabbit in a waistcoat when he fell down a deep hole.
He encountered a bunch of talking animals, which he killed and stuffed into his canvas bag.
As he climbed out of the hole, a little girl accused him of murdering her friends from Wonderland.
George stuffed her into the bag and sent a ransom note to her family.