George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
His swashbuckling skills were legendarily bad, having once lost to a baby in a stroller shaking its rattle.
Once, he slashed at a sailor and barely nicked his shirt, managing to catch a single atom of the fabric.
Splitting the atom in half, the resulting explosion annihilated George, his opponent, the ship they were on, and the port they were docked at.
The shockwave leveled everything within a mile, and a wall of fire incinerated the ruins.
A mushroom cloud billowed from the site, rising into the grim sky.