George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
While other pirates looted towns for provisions and ammunition, George would return with several plastic bags full of pet goldfish.
“Aren’t they pretty?” he’d beam proudly, and then run back into the pet store for a fish tank.
Of course, he needed pebbles. And plants. And an aerator.
A treasure chest with a lid that flapped every time it released a bubble.
By the time he rolled the shopping cart back to the ship, his crewmates were drunk, and out of live goldfish to challenge each other to swallow.