George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He wasn’t cost-conscious either.
When most pirates tended to pay a dollar or so for corn, George paid a dollar and a half.
“More than a buck an ear?” growled his captain. “That’s against The Pirate Code, that be!”
“Well, it’s organic,” said George. “And pesticide free, non-GMO.”
George also wore a white filter mask when he went into battle.
“To conceal your identity, right?” said the captain. “You don’t have a bandana?”
“Well, I do,” said George. “But that awful gunpowder smoke is such hell on my allergies.”