George the Dummy

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
“Of course, you’re not, you loser,” said Enrique, George’s ventriloquist dummy. “You’re just a big dummy.”
“Shut up,” said George.
“You’re an even bigger dummy than me,” said the puppet.
“Shut the hell up,” shouted George, throwing Enrique into his footlocker.
George started hearing the voices a few years ago, so in order to make it look natural, he got the dummy and pretended it was a ventriloquist act.
Except that nobody else heard the voices.
Still, the rest of the crew gave the creepy George a wide berth.