George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He once kidnapped a baby from a wealthy couple and held it for ransom.
While the parents negotiated with George, he had to change diapers, do midnight feedings, buy clothes, help with homework, and do everything else necessary in raising a child.
The negotiations took twenty-two years, ending when the kid graduated college.
“It was cheaper to let you raise him and then pay the ransom,” his parents said.
Their grown son, raised to be a pirate, made his parents walk the plank.
“That’s my boy!” said George proudly.