George and the Bartender

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
When the crew went drinking, George drank herbal tea with the bartender.
When the crew went carousing, George discussed recent news with the bartender.
When the crew went whoring, George exchanged jokes with the bartender.
After a hard night of drinking, carousing, and whoring, George’s crewmates woke up in the alley, money and valuables gone.
George was the only one not to get robbed.
“Do you think they’ll figure it out?” said the bartender.
“I don’t think so,” said George, counting out coins. “Half for you, half for me.”