NORVAL JOE
Mrs. Withybottom shouted from upstairs, “Father’s awake and he’s thrashing around.”
At her voice, a butler stepped into the entry and frowned.
Linoliamanda asked, “What shall we do?”
Billbert took out his phone, “I’m calling an ambulance.”
An eternity later, a fire engine and ambulance roared up the drive. The paramedics raced up the stairs with a stretcher.
Huddled below the stairs, they clearly heard one of the medics shout, “His blood pressure is falling. We need to get him to the hospital right now.”
Moments later they were hurrying down the stairs with Mr. Withybottom strapped to the gurney.
SERENDIPIDY
I had no idea what the smell was, but although it was rather strong, it wasn’t particularly unpleasant, and it wasn’t the sort of smell you’d normally associate with car problems.
So, I simply carried on driving, anxious to get home and start cooking supper for the family.
Finally, I pulled into the driveway and got out of the car.
The smell was much stronger now, and it seemed to be coming from the engine bay.
Turned out to be some sort of animal… Cat, dog, fox? I really couldn’t tell.
Perfectly roast, on the engine block.
That’s supper sorted!
TOM
Stress Test Lungs on Fire.
The doctor through away the first EKG. He cried “Once more with passion! “, the treadmill rose towards the ceiling. I became quite light headed, a flight of angles circling round my eyes. Giant gears spun below my feet like some medieval engine of the inquisition demanding truth rooting out my paper-thin cover story. “Blood pressure nearly at critical Escape velocity, breaking free from the gravitational pull of our celestial body.” Yelled the nurse over the roar of the wind. “My toast, will be roast, If you crank that infernal machine an angle higher.” I gasped. Somewhere a fuse blow.
LIZZIE
The very moment the Ferris wheel started rotating, there was this weird grumbling sound, followed by a sharp metallic groan. He yelled “get me out of here” to no avail. His blood pressure hit the roof when he heard a snapping sound. That was it, he was going to die. The wheel tilted to one side and crashed against the rocks. Yes, “thank you, god, I just broke my back, my legs and an arm, but I’ll be fine”. Why, you may ask. Well, insurance. A fortune. He never told anyone about that wrench he had stuck in the engine.
RICHARD
— Fear of Flying —
I’ve always been terrified of flying.
I know you can probably quote statistics that say it’s safer than crossing the road, or more people die from being kicked by donkeys than in plane crashes, but I really don’t find that reassuring.
As far as I’m concerned, there’s a million things that can go horribly wrong on a flight. What if an engine were to catch fire, or the plane were to be taken over by terrorists?
It’s not as if you can take cover, or make a hasty exit to safety!
Perhaps I shouldn’t have chosen to be a pilot!
PLANET Z
I barely drive my car, and when I drive it, I don’t go too far.
It’s a plug-in hybrid, and I’m almost always driving on electric.
I barely go a thousand miles a year.
I get an alert that my car is five months overdue for maintenance.
I dismiss it, but there’s a little icon on the dash with a warning symbol.
It’s not a check engine light or a low tire pressure alert, so everything is fine.
If it’s not, the car wouldn’t start, and I can call the shop to come pick it up and fix the problem.