I have one cat.
I tried to get another cat, but my cat didn’t like the other cat and drove it off.
My cat has a monopoly on me.
So, the government sued my cat under the Sherman Antitrust Act.
Coincidentally enough, my cat’s named Sherman.
And he apparently used anti-competitive practices on other cats to have a monopoly on me.
The driving off of other cats.
My cat’s lawyer negotiated a deal.
So, the government is assigning my cat a cat-sitter.
And three more cats are due to arrive within the week.
I hope the lawyer cleans the litterboxes.