George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He wasn’t very good with a cutlass, but he was the master of the sofa cushion.
“PILLOWFIGHT ME!” he’d shout at his opponent, tossing aside his cutlass and dropping a sofa cushion at their feet. “I DARE YOU, COWARD!”
When the other pirate threw down their cutlass and picked up the pillow, George would draw his pistol and shoot them in the head.
He’d pick up his cutlass and the cushions.
Then he’d put the cushions back on the captain’s sofa.
With the bloodstained sides facing down, of course.