George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He was really good at carnival midway games, though.
Instead of practicing with his sword and flintlock pistol, he’d stack up milk bottles and knock them down with a baseball.
Or he’d set up a ring toss game. Or that squirt gun with the clown heads and balloons thing, whatever the hell that was.
When he went to the carnival, he always came back with a huge bag full of stuffed animals.
They weren’t as valuable as buried treasure or hostages, but try giving your date a struggling hostage.