George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Somehow, he’d sailed the ship along the chocolate river in Willy Wonka’s factory.
“What the shit is this?” growled the captain.
“Not shit,” said George. “Chocolate.”
A wild-haired geek in a purple suit met them at the river’s bank and raised his cane in greeting.
The pirates shot him dead with their flintlock pistols.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” yelled the captain. “CEASE FIRE! CEASE FIRE!”
A gang of orange midgets swarmed the ship, but the pirates finished them off easily.
The pirates grabbed a bunch of candy and raised anchor.