- Tom
- Richard
- Lizzie
- Serendipidy
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
RICHARD
— Like, subscribe, comment —
Like, subscribe, comment… the mantra of the internet.
But, what if I don’t like, don’t wish to subscribe and have nothing at all to say?
Should I leave a comment anyway, explaining that I’ve no comment to add?
Therein lies the paradox -if I really don’t like it, then I really should say so. If I don’t, then my protests will remain unheard, but if I leave a comment -even a negative one- it’ll just boost the algorithm. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
So, what do you think I should do?
Please, just leave a comment below!
LIZZIE
He wondered what that was. A pseudo kebab featuring the most unusual looking food? Upon inquiring about what exactly was being cooked, he realized that some strange items had indeed been stabbed and were merrily burning away. As far as he could see (no pun intended), there were eyes mixed with a few fingers and something that resembled a dragon wing, that is if there were dragons. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, but he was hungry and he could just close his eyes. He did. Let’s just say the following week was not the easiest week.
SERENDIPIDY
I’m on a drive to improve customer service.
I’ve never been a fan of ‘the customer is always right’ philosophy, but I like to keep my sponsors happy. A contented customer equals repeat business, and that has to be a good thing.
So, I’ve introduced customer comment cards -you know, the ones with smiley faces- to provide feedback on my service.
And, I’m pleased to say, that it’s all been very positive.
So, I’m extending the scheme to my other ‘stakeholders’, and now, I always leave a comment card with the corpse.
Unfortunately, the cops never fill the things in.
TOM
Once upon a time
Imagine if fairy-tales had a comment option during a bedtime story? Well actually they do. Peppered with requests for water and repeated trips to the toilet. The more precocious the young-N the more complex the comment or in the case of the uber precocious a running commentary. Mix in the vitriolic orbit of the internet which has seeped into the dearest of infants we have a problem, Houston. Take Goldilocks, Tim’s comment: deep imperialistic overtones. And Sally’s comment on Little Red Riding Hood in a post QAon landscape. What ever happen to: and they all lived happily ever after? Whatever.
NORVAL JOE
The red haired girl charged forward and pushed the bully in the middle of the back. “Hey Meat Head. Your parole officer is looking for you.”
When he turned to face her, Billbert noticed she was as tall as the brute. He sneered at her. “Shut up, Bobbi. We don’t need comments from the peanut gallery.”
Bobbi smiled. “I’ll tell mom you’re bullying again.”
Billbert saw the family resemblance, then; broad shoulders, sturdy build, red hair, and freckles; though Bobbi was much prettier.
“Patrick Yaan. Please come to the principal’s office,” came over the intercom.
Bobbi waved her brother goodbye.
PLANET Z
Miller was warned early in his influencer career never to read the comment section.
Hire someone to do that for you, said his mentor. Let them deal with the public while you just do what you do.
Every now and then, Miller’s assistant would send an email with a few comments worth responding to on the channel.
As artificial intelligence advanced, Miller handed the comment section to a bot.
And he crafted an avatar to read his writing on the channel.
As long as he kept writing, that is. He gave that up when he found a decent writing bot.